American Mumbaiker

Monsoon

2010-06-09T18:00:00.002+05:30

ok so it is here...and i took this video...which is really dark so you cant see anything....but you can hear me and the rain!!

i count!!

2010-06-09T17:54:00.002+05:30

A man came by my place the other night to drop off my official Indian census form…I said but I am not Indian “do I count”…he said “no” but to fill it anyway...

reasons not to use goggle translator

2010-04-22T11:36:00.002+05:30

So my students have to write a 400 word personnal statement as part of their application. Our classes are all tuaght in English and the personnal statemnt is too be in english as well. this kid just sent one....he typed each line in Hindi into Google translator and this is how it came out in english....

Before I’ll dinner yet while eat communicate from them. What ever they would say. I’ll keep alert all those time because He will be our progenitor. They will tell what ever we our for good tell. Perhaps They said this, Industries is not all of them. So we shouldn’t shock from telling this talk. There’s any body to be come popular. He is talent & own Hard Struggle Cause to become popular. He is every thing to a doubt Renan citation world. As if world think watch 3 hours the movie. There must be all of cushy work. But here’s Just Negative. Is not cushy any work one scene do till ten day’s lossed unit of every person hard work struggler should never think so, I likely to meet work In Industries So I haves becomed king But also required to be challenge hard work. Whatever to day’s stars He don’t make cushy stars but also before make a stars They has been cantoned director’s Producer’s of hard Review. They have been own motivate Resemble. They think always we shouldn’t laxity & in fewer ants should go ever wish to be, They Think always forever stars make to be go in propaganda. Some people say’s while shoot more do tough work actors & directors. No its wrong while shoot every workers hard work in unit. Then we able to cushy watch on the TV & canvas. Today’s every body have more money In the Industry. They wished more many make the movie & they can lucrative money but past are the days. & the days rapidly has becomed change. For make a movie should good story & for good story we should good & pacify mind as one writer & director can do because they go in propaganda dire provided the

he was rejected!

and here is a photo of me i took this weekend that i kinda like....

test explain

2010-03-31T10:02:00.002+05:30

so i have to admit i am not very technologically apt. funny thing is i used to totally be that guy...but some how life has passed me by. I would like to blame my India exhile status, but that is not true, it has forced me to be more tech savey ie: this blog...

so anyway

i lost the cord that connects my camera to my computer so when i have photos to post i have to go to take a bus to the train station and get them burned on a CD and it's a pain. so last week a friend told me to buy a card reader...i didnt know this exsieted but bascially i stick the card reader into my computer and then my cameras memeory card into that and Vola!! Now as you can view below, i can post videos as well....so get ready!!!

a test

2010-03-31T09:55:00.002+05:30

Easter!

2010-03-29T16:18:00.005+05:30

in preparation for our Lord's Re-Birth, i will share my all time favorite Easter song...by one Miss Dolly Parton.
She sings as if she was one of the characters in the story...it just makes me laugh to think of Dolly, the way she looks, in the time of Jesus...

so here it is...ENJOY!!!

The gates and doors were barred, And all the windows fastened down
I spent the night in sleeplessness
And rose at every sound, Half in hope of sorrow
And half in fear the day
Would find the soldiers breakin' through
To drag us all away

And just before the sunrise, I heard something at the wall
The gate began to rattle, And a voice began to call
I hurried to the window, Looked down into the street
Expecting swords and torches, And the sound of soldiers' feet

But there was no one there but Mary, So I went down to let her in
John stood there beside me, As she told me where she'd been
She said they've moved Him in the night
And none of us know where, The stone's been rolled away
And now His body isn't there

We both ran towards the garden, Then John ran on ahead
We found the stone and empty tomb, Just the way that Mary said
But the winding sheet they wrapped Him in
Was just an empty shell, And how or where they'd taken Him
Was more than I could tell

Oh something strange had happened there, Just what I did not know
John believed a miracle, But I just turned to go
Circumstance and speculation, Couldn't lift me very high
'Cause I'd seen them crucify Him, Then I saw Him die

Back inside the house again, The guilt and anguish came
Everything I'd promised Him, Just added to my shame
When at last it came to choices, I denied I knew His name
And even if He was alive, It wouldn't be the same

But suddenly the air was filled, With a strange and sweet perfume
Light that came from everywhere, Drove shadows from the room
And Jesus stood before me, With His arms held open wide
And I fell down on my knees, And I just clung to Him and cried

Then He raised me to my feet, And as I looked into His eyes
The love was shining out from Him, Like sunlight from the skies
Guilt in my confusion, Disappeared in sweet release
And every fear I ever had, Just melted into peace

He's alive yes He's alive, Yes He's alive and I'm forgiven
Heaven's gates are open wide, He's alive yes He's alive
Oh He's alive and I'm forgiven, Heaven's gates are open wide
He's alive He's alive, Hallelujah He's alive
He's alive and I'm forgiven, Heaven's gates are open wide
He's alive He's alive He's alive, I believe it He's alive
Sweet Jesus

Republic day: midget's prositutes temples and flamingo's

2010-03-12T12:01:00.010+05:30

Republic Day of India commemorates the date on which the Constitution of India came into effect (January 26, 1950)...Blah Blah Blah...it really means we get a day off from work whoot whoot!

I began my Republic day the night before. R.Day is a dry day, which means they don’t serve or sell booze so everyone goes out the night before. The plan was to take out our friend Harvey; he had just been dumped by his girlfriend, so we used this as an excuse to drink (like we needed one).

[sidebar about Harvey and the girl, they met on New Years eve and had already talked about marriage, he got dumped on the 25th of JANUARY!! it's strange like that here...I’ve been on first dates here where I am told at the end "I love you". scary!]

Aili, Harvey and I met up at my favorite Mumbai waterhole the Golden Chariot. (I will forever be in debt to Aili for introducing me to this place!!) The Golden Chariot is in the parking area of the domestic airport, Santa Cruz east just opp. Sahara Star Hotel.

[sidebar 2: A strange thing; in India restaurants that also serve beer/liquor are mostly called “hotels” and then, places where you can sleep are also called hotels. My assistant says that if you were talking to your friends and you wanted to get a room you would say “let’s get a room” but if you wanted a drink you would say “let’s go to hotel”. And if you are in your town there would be no reason to get a hotel so when you say hotel it always means drink! Anyway Golden Chariot is a hotel, but you can’t sleep there, pass out yes, sleep no!]

What Golden Chariot does have is one of the best clientele freak shows of any place I’ve ever been. Let’s start at the door where you are greeted by…

Now that alone should be reason enough to go but it continues. The restaurant is divided into two areas an inside AC upscalish restaurant and an outside area which is covered by a large canopy. This is the place! Outside nightly they have live music, AWESOME live music! It’s basically a guy with a laptop singing karaoke but it’s great. He sings old classis Hindi songs mostly desperate tear jerking love songs and “Hindi drinking songs” which are mostly desperate tear jerking love songs. This is he and me...

Another aspect of heaven on earth, the golden chariot is due to it’s proximity to the airport it is full of prostitutes looking for a quickie. And due to the coloration of my skin they flock to me…she is one of my favorites…

Seems to be no dental plan for whores in Mumbai (yuck!!) she got mad at me cause I took her photo; saw her teeth; and ran away!

We were joined by Bhavin he used to work at WWI with us. We nursed Harvey’s broken heart, danced, sang, drank and celebrated independence!!

The next day Aili had arrange a full day of activities for us…first we (Aili and I) went to campus for a flag raising ceremony and for Aili to get an award for Employee of the year!!

After Aili, myself and the director of the IT department Priyadarshi (P.D. for short) took his car and headed for a temple. Along the way we passed slat flats…

The white stuff is really table salt being made or grown or harvested…I am still not clear...but it was cool.

So we got to the temple and it’s still under construction which turned out to be the neat part seeing how it is being made, stone cut etc. I had to poop there and there was no toilet paper and had to use my hand. No photo’s of that.

At the temple we met up with Natalie, she’s an Australian doing a research project at our school. While waiting for her to arrive; Harvey called and invited us over for lunch, he lives near byish. So P.D., Aili, Natalie and I went and had an amazing Guajarati lunch at Harvey’s house. I pooped at Harvey’s too; he didn’t have toilet paper either.

We left, taking Harvey with us and travelled all the way down the city talking over the whole India vs. Australia controversy!
We drove down to this remote place in Mumbai in search of Flamingo’s; that’s right kids Flamingo’s!! Aili had read in the paper that during their migration south they stop for a layover in Mumbai so in search we went! It was funny trying to find it, lots of missed turns and bad directions lots of “you had to be there” moments! Finally in the shadow of a huge toxic power plant we found them…you’ll have to look close for the pink line but their there…

After, we walked next door to an old abandoned Muslim temple. Suddenly, out of nowhere, tons and tons of young Muslim boys came running in, it got kinda of scary cause they were everywhere and getting really rowdy seeing the two white women so we left, quickly!
To finish the day we drove to Marine drive and walked watching the sun come down.

It may have taken me a month to blog about but it was certainly one of the best 48 hours in my life. Just one of those great days where you just let the wind (or Aili) lead the way and you enjoy every second!!

SuperStar!!

2010-03-05T16:13:00.003+05:30

the winklers vs. sri lanka

2010-03-03T16:45:00.010+05:30

For a wedding at thanksgiving the winklers landed in sri lanka...

it's strange to see this family portrait (and this isnt everybody) growing up it was always just my mom, grandmom, brother and myself. teeny tiny family, then my brother got married...now we are spread across france, canada, india, america, srilanka. we went from country folk to international jet setters with the words "I DO".

we rode elephants...it was scary...my mom, my sister-in-law Denise, and super stud!!

we had a driver...nobody liked the way he smelled...i wanted to be his best friend!

we saw turtles...

i met a monk with lady lips...

we went to the beach...it was my favorite day...

the house was full of kids...people tell me kids are fun...

and there was a wedding...

it was fun fun fun and great to see my family and interesting to see them on sort of my turf...although sri lanka kicks india butt in terms of cleanliness and order but...they got the idea.

setting up house

2010-02-23T12:10:00.003+05:30

After 2.5 years of eating off cheapy metal plates and bowls that i hated...i got me some dishes. i think when i moved here i didnt realize the enormity of starting over...like i knew i would have to find friends and a job, the big stuff, but it was the buying of tape and dishes and sheets and towels which has sort of sucked. Mostly becuase my Moms house is full of all my Philadelphia tape, dishes, sheets and towles. Lord knows my mom would love to have her closets back, shes got stuff of her own to fill them with. Sending that stuff to me just isnt fiscally fesable and i can get everything here. trouble is quality. One of the misconceptions in moving to india is i figured i'd just get everything here it will be cheaper. what i didnt realize is that the stuff here is cheaper as in cheap quality. here you have to pay American prices to get American quality...and there are thing you need you cant skimp on, tape, dishes, sheets and towles. sleeping on cheap sheets suckes and useing a cheap towel leaves your skin feeling icky.

so these are my new dishes...and i love them...

and this is my blackberry. just had the photo thought i'd share...

Alexander McQueen.

2010-02-12T10:03:00.003+05:30

Jan sent me an SMS last night at 12am on the dot with the news of McQueens death.

I am so sad. I loved him. He was everything i aspire to be, smart, determined, respected, fun and many other inspiring and important words... i am just so sad for the world...and i know that sounds extreme but...

there are some people that just get it...can mix art and politics, can make the serious fun, he was that...he was so right on!!
there are some people that you don't personally know but you know them and you know you'd be great friends!

I remember once seeing a tee shirt of his for $3oo. i went and looked at that shirt maybe 5-6 times within one week and kept laughing to myself...that is true skill that he would make my poor ass actually consider a $3oo tee-shirt. This past weekend i bought light brown shoes i would have never bought had you not told me they were in

so this world will go on, people will wake this morning, put on terrible outfits, drink coffee, go to work and carry on. The world has the resilient strength i wish you had had. Today I will wear my light brown shoes, think of you and hope you are at peace.

Thank you for everything...

One thing I hate, One thing I love and One thing that causes guilt! !

2010-02-11T12:17:00.005+05:30

I have said it before and I will say it again…I hate hate hate when the contestants on American Idol talk about their kids… I don’t care. I have never bought a CD based on the birthing/parenting abilities of the artist. I don’t care. Do you feel that children make your voice better…from what I have heard this season NO!
Everyone with kids and a job is working to make a better life for their kids, what makes you special? You decided to figure out a way to provide for them AFTER you gave birth, that hardly makes you special or vote worthy, the other word for that is Stupid!!
When picking a winner wouldn’t you rather have a single guy/girl that will become famous and have scandalous affairs that make the papers. If you want ogle someone saddled with a family…go to Wal-mart!!!
I hate you parental American Idol people!! The only that would be worse is if you had a blind contestant!!

My office wife (Aili) told me “I love lady gaga” too much. Of course I began a mission to prove her wrong…after much googling I found this guy…every time The Ga makes an appearance he bakes cookies to represent her outfits. I love this!!

Mad Men…in my schools library we just got Season 1 DVD of the popular AMC show, it was the first time I watched this show.
Its strange, I love it, totally love it, but at the same time am conflicted. Every single character is pretty darn despicable, so I don’t like liking it.
Do i need to like the way the people on a TV show behave? It's not like they are pop idol's, they are fictional. Do i need to want to be like them to enjoy the show?

Having never seen the show the only thing I knew about it was how everyone (all men) wants to be “John Hamm from Mad Men”…well he’s a cheater, like a multiple, unremorseful cheater and that’s no one we should idolize. I don’t understand the show, as in what’s the point; it just makes me hate our grandparents’ generation. it does make me understand why smoking and drinking at work is dumb, why we (Americans) need sexual harassment laws, and why I love my mobile phone and technology. So maybe that’s it…whatever, I am hooked and will without doubt be downloading season 2-3 today!!

I still live...

2010-02-04T17:36:00.003+05:30

in Bollywood!!

Since i have not been 'acting' there has been little-or-no bollywood talk so here is a current favorite song of mine (it actually months old but still) and a very old song but I's loves it and you will too!!

From 'love aaj kal'

now the oldie, from 'Blackmail'

Enjoy!!

Fashy On!

2010-02-02T14:28:00.007+05:30

today's blog was suppose to be about republic day (indian 4th July), which was last tuesday, but because i was/am saturday, i didn't get my photos done....i lost the cord to download pictures directly to my PC so i have to go to the shop and get a CD burned, it takes time, but i am visualizing a laptop in my near future so all that will change!!

until then...the secondary topic will be....

Fashion!!

i want this...

i want to be this guy....and before you start, i know its bad to want to be anyone else...but i want to be him and have the life i pretend he has...

i want to know who this is...he's a fashion designer but thats all i know...

i hope i live long enough to see someone wearing these...

ok so chew on that...put on something from the back of your closet today!!! (not you mom, put down the "snazz") but everyone else!!!

the weekend

2010-01-25T17:34:00.003+05:30

This is an example of the emails I receive from co-workers…

“Thanking you to please seeing attached documentational information and do the needingful in the timing for same”

And then they will freak out if you don’t reply…anyone have a decoder ring I could borrow?

*********************

Contrary to popular belief, here in India, one does not need to haggle to purchase items. 95% of things have a prices printed on them known as the MRP (maximum retail price, maximum rupee paid, Mumbai rupee price etc).

There are staple items (i.e. milk, sugar, rice, petrol) and their price is fixed by the government. When there is a need to raise the price it has to be ‘approved’ and fierce debate takes place. Currently they are trying to raise the milk price. I don’t know what it is now, I buy cartons and I think they are Rs. 38. But apparently it’s going up. It’s strange because I think it will go up by 2-3 rupees (roughly 5 cents?). With India being such a poor country that actually really affects people.

Next item: my weekend…

Friday I went to a play. It was in Hindi and I was bored. Just before we went in I drank a huge coffee and it was charging through my veins and I felt like a drug addict. I left during intermission.

Saturday I went to Hypercity.

Every Saturday I go to Hypercity. It’s Mumbai’s Target/Sam’s club. I start off in the mall next to it HC, it’s called Inorbitz.

I start by going to Crosswords (Mumbai’s Barnes and noble). I like to look at the western music section and to finger the books but never buy, cause books I get from school or friends and music I get from another store in the mall…it’s my next stop…I think its called “M music”, I cant remember right now…all the guys there know me and will show me the latest western music they have in. they have no idea what my taste are so they just show me all the CD’s with white people on the cover!

I look around at other stores but rarely, rarely buy anything. Because my place is sooo dumpy I don’t really decorate it or try to class it up. Clothes here are different from me.

At Hypercity I get all my groceries and household products, deo’s, soaps, pots and pans. People say the prices are more expensive there but they are not (see above MPR statement) and if they are, the ease of being able to get everything under on roof is well worth it. When I go to market I like to try at least one new thing but I can’t promise that I always do. This week I got moth balls, people tell me they will keep the lizards out (yes, I have a lizard problem).

Saturtday night I and the boyfriend met my friend david for dinner, then david and I went out for drinks. It was david’s birthday. I had fun!

Sunday…I watched a Desperate Housewives marathon.

and that's 3 days in Mumbai!!

Gothic Mumbai

2010-01-25T15:11:00.002+05:30

aili and i went to lunch...

keep it simple!!

2010-01-08T18:01:00.002+05:30

some simple updates:

i have had a cold for almost three weeks now
and i am over it (not the cold but over having it :)!!

work has been stinky!

i am sorta, kinda, maybe, dating someone!!

my dead camera has been brought back to life!!

and thats that.

here is my favorite thing right now...

http://garfieldminusgarfield.net/

Garfield Minus Garfield is a site dedicated to removing Garfield from the Garfield comic strips in order to reveal the existential angst of a certain young Mr. Jon Arbuckle. It is a journey deep into the mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against loneliness and depression in a quiet American suburb.

please go and view this, you'll never read comics the same again!!

"in and out" isnt just a burger joint

2010-01-04T15:39:00.009+05:30

Growing up a little girl on the farm, one of my favorite things in the world was that on Jan. 1 of every year 'The Washington Post' would put out an "In and Out" list. Anything that was cool or to be cool was on the “in” side…and anything totally “out” (like the word totally) would be on the “out” side.

I loved it.

Looking back now I probably didn’t get half the items they listed, I was on a farm, not knee deep in the big city of DC but regardless I drank it up...it made me feel like I knew what was happening out “there". My neighbors didn’t know, but I did. That made me better faster, smarter, and not one of them! Of course they were delivered the exact same paper we did but kuch bhi; I was like 13ish and made me feel hip!

So in the grand tradition of this great newspapers list, I have done my own...see below and live it!!!

(and for some reason i can not get the justification correct so deal!!)

Out.........................In
Kylie.......................Gaga
Khans.......................Kapoors
Perezhilton.Com.............Stylerookie.Com
Renaldo.....................Sanath Jayasuriya
Ambivalence ................Cards on the Table
Mylie Cyrus/Taylor Swift....Anybody Else
Sex/Drunk Hook Ups..........Victorian Sensibilities
People in their 20’s........People in their 40’s
Abs.........................Bellies
Sway Calloway...............Johann Wald
Non-Fat Mocha Lattes........Black Coffee
Rickshaw Drivers............IT Nerds
Twilight Books/Movies.......Warriors (Warrior Cats Series)
Booze.......................Mango Juice
Tiger Woods.................Kumar Sanakkara
Blue Eyes...................Moustaches
Gap.........................Indian Terrain
American Style..............European Style
China House.................Aer
Hrithik Roshan..............Ranbir kapoor
Twitter.....................Phone Calls
Upen Patel..................JCAC (Jan)
Dinner......................Breakfast
Marvel Comicsl..............Steam, Clock, and Dieselpunk
Garfield....................Garfield Minus Garfield (Old But…)
Kingfisher Beer.............Tiger Beer
5 Star Hotel Meals..........Pot Luck Dinners at Friends
Branded Clothes.............Train Station Clothes
Bollywood...................Japanese Cinema
Benetton....................Lacoste
Scotch on the Rocks.........Vodka Shots
Obama.......................Annise Parker
Kathy Griffin...............Regina Hall
Universal Healthcare........Home Remedies
Facebook....................Myspace, it’s coming back bitches
Wally Lamb..................Tao Lin
Mika........................Patrick Wolf
Craig.......................Craig

enjoy the year...i love everyone!!

you are lady gaga...

2009-12-31T11:10:00.005+05:30

Ok ok ok ok, I am the worst blogger ever…it has been since May that I have come here to enthrall you all with my wisdom…and even that last blog in May was to say that I haven’t blogged in a while…(like me I guess this blog is a work in progress, puke)

…see the funny thing is I think about stuff I want to write about all the time, but getting it from head to web, just, well…I even take notes in Mr. blackberry of things to write about but then when I look back I can’t always remember what the note was about or why (i.e. current note example says “monkey butts”; what did that mean and does anyone want to read a blog about monkey butts, [p.s. I kinda do])…

So anyway since May a good bit has happened and most of it was probably funny at the time…but that is the past, and this decade (2010) I am leaving my past behind and focusing on the future…which is my yogi sounding way of saying “I am in no way going to deal with, answer for, or pay up for any of my past mistakes and I am most likely dammed to commit them all over again!!! AND I am ok with that!!

Before 2010 here are some photos from the past year…

and now on to 2010...

the bad blogger

2009-05-06T16:58:00.002+05:30

hey yall...
i want to do something new to keep this blog interesting and interesting to me,
but not to clear yet on what that means...i am thinking twittering it for awhile...i have a new phone and will be getting a new number soonish once that happens i will start twitter fest 2009...i'll let you know!!!

other than that...

Chicken Tetrazzini

2009-04-17T12:57:00.002+05:30

so this is rocking my world this minute...i played the clip for my office mates and they didn't believe when i said the people were speaking English...

Bye Pauline!

2009-03-12T12:33:00.006+05:30

many of you may know one of my favorite things in the world is a little British show called Eastenders! It began in 1985 and in the states runs on PBS and is exactly five years behind the British show its great!! One of the original cast members just died and i am sad. Her name was Wendy Richard she was 65.
On Eastenders she played Pauline Fowler, tough talking wise-cracking launderette worker...she ran a tight ship. She is missed around Albert Square.

She was also famous for another role very close to my heart, that of Miss Brahms in the series Are You Being Served?

She had many other roles and was a staple of British TV...

My thoughts also go out this week to Zimbabwe's Prime Minister Morgan Tsvangirai over the loss of his wife Susan...They are fighting for the countries freedom and it is very sad loss for him as well as Zimbabwe.

Happy Holi

2009-03-10T17:23:00.001+05:30

Tomorrow is Holi so i have the day off! Wel-come spring!!

Goa

2009-03-10T16:44:00.004+05:30

As you may remember I had a Goa attitude, a’ Goatude’ if you will, I am here to say…I mean I am man enough to admit that well…I was right! Ha!!

So Goa was actually amazing, I had a really great time. The wedding was amazing. The beach was beautiful. I gots my sunburn on…so I was happy!!

I took a train down on Friday night after work. I met up with two girl students and one Indian teacher to take the train.

Girl 1-Alexis from California America is nice but also very distant…Girl 2-Sarah from Australia was funny…the Indian is totally annoying, he was trying really hard to impress the girls, they totally didn’t care, he told these story’s about his life that I am sure where out and out lies.

The train left at 10: pm and would arrive in Goa around 7am. The others were in a different part of the train, which I liked. There was a nice man in my birth, we spoke for awhile, the whole time his wife was doing ‘the head-bob’ when she would ‘bob up’, I got a glare like I was keeping her awake. Anyway the guy works across from my flat so we are supposed to go for dinner one day…I don’t know how I get myself into these messes. So I went to bed round 11 and woke up in Goa, easy peasy!!

From the station we took a private car to the beach where the wedding party was staying…about an hour. It was nice to see Goa waking up and to see so many catholic churches. Goa is a Catholic state and there are crosses and Jesus’ everywhere. I had always thought of Goa as a place instead of a state, but there are many beaches some really touristy and others not so much. We stayed in Arambol which some would say was touristy, others would say it wasn’t as touristy. I say it was way touristy…so many white hippies, yuck. I just never understand when white people come to India why they think they can stop showering, wear these ridiculous baggie pants, and take drugs. It makes the Indians think we are all freaks.

Once there we kinda had to walk far to the hotel area, but it was nice to be able to check out the beach. I got a room, very simple (I would only be there one night), and had a shower, ate breakfast then I went to have a swim. The water was great, most water in India is untouchable but this was terrific. I was out for half an hour and got totally burnt it was awesome.

Then shower lunch, nap, wedding! The wedding was at five under a paniquin on the beach. It was loverly. Aili, the bride, my co-worker, is from Italy and Anirudh, the groom, is from Punjab. The wedding was small maybe 50 people of all different Nationalities…Citizens of the World!!!

The wedding was probably two hours but you could walk away, chat, have a drink then come back. The ‘service’ is in ‘old Hindi’ which no-one understand so it was casual. Aili looked stunning, she wore a sari, which I normally don’t like on western people but after living here 8 years I guess she has switched nationalities and pulled it off beautifully. I looked really nice, I had on a summer blazer I got at Target for 10 bucks.

Afterward there was a reception…it was fun, great great food, I danced. We then all went to a bar on the beach, then this strange guy Jeet and I went swimming at 4am.

The next morning I got up early, round 9am, and went for a swim. I ran into Ritesh, a guy I work with, he said that where he stayed he could hear the ocean and it kept him awake cause he was afraid a Tsunami would come, he had never been to the beach before…it was kind of cute……

Then breakfast, bath, another swim. This time I took Ritesh and he was really afraid but didn’t want me to see that so he just sucked it up and had a blast!!! I was worried just going for such a short time I would be rushed but as you can see I had plenty of time to swim swim swim!

Then I met everyone for a late lunch, the food tasted nasty. Then we had to leave. I went back to my hotel got my bag. Walking with the gang to met our car I thought I better get my passport out cause that’s where my train ticket was…I couldn’t find my passport so I had to run back to my hotel and it was hot and I had just eaten…anyway laying right on my bed was my passport and camera…can you believe it…I am so not that person that forgets that kind of stuff…anyway in the car, I felt sick but I figured it was from running in the heat. On the train my stomach started to hurt. I got up around midnight to stretch my legs and ended up barfing!!

So the rest of the trip home was yucky and then the rest of the week was weird…but it hasn’t tarnished my Goan vaca. I can see why people go there (although I have to say when I went down south to Kerela the beaches were prettier and less populated) and I am sure I will someday return to Goa…it seems to be one of those places that are fun because you are with fun people.

this is Goa

from left to right Malcolm (ex-coworker), Alexis the American, Aili, Husband, Sarah the Australian, Ritesh co-worker, me!

Aili and the husband

Aili

dear readers

2009-03-04T13:41:00.002+05:30

OK i know you all are on 'pins and needles' waiting for the Goa blog....but...you will have to wait!!

Unfortunately the very last meal i ate in Goa poisoned me and i am still very very sick...trust me, being sick on a 10 hour train from Goa puts one in mood not quickly shaken off...so i am not in a very happy/positive mood to write and Goa was amazing so i want to feel better to express it...so you will have to sit tight!!
(sorry i am still sick mom! jeez!! haha)

one funny story, not related to my tummy or Goa...a women in Florida was arrested for calling 911 to complain that her local McDonald's was out of Chicken McNuggets!

Here's the transcript of one of her calls:

"This is an emergency, if I would have known they didn't have McNuggets, I wouldn't have given my money, and now she wants to give me a McDouble, but I don't want one, this is an emergency!"

Oh black people, I miss you!!

goodbye winter

2009-03-03T16:21:00.003+05:30

winter was over last wednesday...to all of ya'll buried under snow in my northern states...yesterday it was 100 in Mumbai and today it is 101!!

tomorrow goa blog!!

Your Fat, Go-Go to Goa!!

2009-02-24T15:03:00.003+05:30

So my friend w!l will be thrilled to know….I am going to Goa!

My co-worker Aili, from Italy, is getting married to an Indian guy and their wedding is 28th Feb in Goa. I have tried to avoid Goa because everybody loves it. Every retarded tourist just goes on and on about how great it is…it makes you sick. It is very popular to do drugs in Goa. So many young British/American people go there, get really messed up on drugs, get raped or robbed and then try to complain that the Indian people are evil. But that’s where she’s getting married so that’s where I am going.

I leave on 27th Friday and come back 29th Sunday, even if I hate it it’s just a day. I am taking the train down at night, it’s a sleeper car and I’ll get there Saturday morning round 7 am and hopefully napping on the beach by 8. This is actually my first vacation since I came to India. Both times I have been home to US the trip has been filled with Visa stress. My trip to Nepal was Visa stress and the two times I have gone out of Mumbai was for shoots, which turn out to be stressful so I am looking forward to de-stressing!!

American idol…so this season is playing here…and I hate that all the men are fat! In times of economic trouble it seems gross to be eating in excess when some families can’t. If we are a country ‘dedicated to fighting terrorist’ isn’t important to be physically fit for same…how you are going to flee a burning building or fight the Taliban as a big fat porker!

Back to AI, I don’t care about the contestants children, nobody told you to have them instead of following your dreams, don’t use them for votes now…that goes double for dead wives…do you really expect us to like your music more cause you have children and dead wife’s…puke!!!

So yeah I guess I do need a stress break…ha-ha

here’s something funny…so eating lunch is a big deal here…many don’t have breakfast so everybody goes for lunch…you don’t skip it…lunch time is around 2pm and for the hour before and after anytime you run into anyone they say “have you taken lunch?” or “have lunch?” or they will put there fingers to their mouths motioning eating (cause you eat with your hands) and shake their head which means did you eat. Sometimes it feels funny that everyone is so concerned about if I am eating…of course I lie all the time and say “in my country we don’t eat lunch!”

oh and yeah big props to Slumdog for giving Indians their first Oscars…people here are freaking out, you’d think some fat ass just won American Idol!

Oh this too…there is a great language website called livemocha it’s an EASY way to learn a foreign language. I’ve been on it for a week and learned sooo much Hindi... they have many languages and it’s cool!!!

this is goa...

Sleeping Single in a Dabule Bed

2009-02-17T12:32:00.003+05:30

So after much talk about and not much doin about…I have finally bought a bed.
It is popular or acceptable here to sleep on just a futon type of mattress. This is what I have been using but now that I am getting paid I opted for a proper bed…I went to Hypercity, Mumbai’s Target, and they were having a half price sale so I laid down my rs. 5000 (US 100) and got a bed.

It was to be delivered on Saturday, then a ‘guy’ would come Sunday to put it together. I got the mattress from a different shop. It was also to be delivered on Saturday. So on Saturday the mattress arrived and it was huge, like really huge. I was kinda freaking out thinking they sent the wrong size and things like returns are just not done in India. I began trying to come up with ways I could cut the mattress down to size…which seemed like it was gonna be messy. The man shows up on Sunday to build my bed and he said ‘sir, place is not big’ which in English meant I might be in trouble…he toiled away while I came to terms with the idea that I wouldn’t be able to return either and may screwed out of a poop load of rupees. The bed was finished and my apartment shrank and then shank some more…basically now my apartment is nothing but a bed…so I have decided there is nothing to do but become a prostitute…turn lemons into lemon-aid I say!

The same day, Saturday, I also got delivered a refrigerator. Apartments don’t come with them (or stoves), you buy them separately. There are several different sizes of fridges available in India, depending on your budget. The one I got is 180 liters, I have no idea what that means except that it is between collage size and household size, it’s cute, but adds terrible to my shrinking apartment size.
Now a week later I have come to terms with my apartment and my big bed…I love it!!
Suddenly I have this whole new apartment…it fun and the best part is I don’t need anything else…except a wok and dishes and a extension cord and socks and brown shoes and…

Update: got a wok, I went and got some pans and tons of food to fill up my fridge…and then I ran out of gas…like my gas cylinder that has lasted me one year finally ran out, the very day I buy cookware and food…Murphy’s Law India style!!

Music and Fried Chicken are my Boyfriends

2009-02-05T14:31:00.004+05:30

Tuesday night found me having dinner at Kentucky Fried Chicken with Kerala’s most eligible bachelor, a Doctor to boot, he of course is smitten with me, as they all are, that is all Indians, not just Kerelan doctors….but I digress…so this Doctor tells me he likes ‘grunge’ music… notice I said “likes” and not “liked”…personally I didn’t think grunge existed anymore…I told I used like grunge in the 90’s but now I wasn’t so sure…he asked what happen…I said I moved on…it got me to thinking…about musical progression, my musical progression. I have always wanted to be in a musical…so here it is my musical…”the progression”.

I was round 6 years old in 1976, I don’t remember having a musical past before that, really just whatever was on the radio…although I do remember a 45 record I had about Hiawatha and Running Bear that I wore out as a child…and my Mom loves to tell a story of how I wanted some neighborhood kid to hear one of my records so I put it on the turntable and locked him in my room…I wish I knew which song I thought was important enough to cause me to commit kidnapping…my mom is/was/always will be a Kris Kristofferson fan so I heard him in the house a lot…no, I mean A LOT!!!…
Popular in America around this time was Barry Manilow, John Denver, my dog Pasta’s favorite band The Carpenters, The Captain and Tennille.

1976-1982 – even as an eight year the disco beat had me…red flag?...big for me was the Grease soundtrack, The Bee Gee’s, Donna Summer, Oliva Newton John…her album ‘Totally Hot’ from 1978 was just that…Totally Hot!!! 1979 for me was all about ‘Le Freak’, ‘YMCA’, and ‘I will Survive’.

1981-1987 – from Disco I transitioned into New Wave. I lived on a farm and didn’t get the latest music when the city folk did, so I was a few years behind… I was 13 (1982) and this was my self identifying music. It didn’t belong to my mom…my brother liked Heavy Metal and Rush (which I had to hate cause he liked it). This was mine, topping the list were The Thompson twins (my first favorite band, have you seen my Thompson twin tattoo?), Culture Club, Dépêche Mode, and Pet Shop Boys (1986). Erasure hit in 1985 and became my new favorite replacing the now fading Twins (tear). I was also listening to harder punk bands like Dead Kennedys and Crass as well but New Wave was where my heart was.

In 1987 I left high school and the farm, my family shifted to South Carolina. There wasn’t much of a scene there and this was pre-internet so my taste became a bit more radio friendly and ‘clubby’. Around this time I started working in Record stores and my exposure to different kinds of music really opened up. During this time I was listening to REM, I warmed up to Madonna (when she first came out I was still ‘punk’ and liking her was not cool), I was totally into Erasure by then, I discovered the musical ‘Into the Woods’, Morrissey was solo now and I loved him, The Communards was my first CD, The sugarcubes entered the world and brought us Bjork. The times and I were a changin’…

1991 1994-I began living in Atlanta, which was all about and Hip Hop/Rap music, also Tori Amos’ first record came out I became a HUGE fan. I was, for the first time, going to discotheques so I heard and loved a lot of really cheesy gay dance crap which I now regret…did I really like CeCe Peniston’s ‘Finally’... During this time was when grunge was around, Nirvana hit in 1991 with ‘…Teen Spirit’ and I was not immune to their charms…although Pearl Jam was my grunge band…’Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town’ has had an impact on me and my ‘being’ that has been immeasurable…and one I am not fully comfortable with talking about here…

1994-1995 I went traveling round the world…so I missed out on a bit but during that time. While in Egypt I found in my hotel room a discarded copy of a British magazine ‘the face’ and read about Brit pop! I loved it without hearing it, I liked the way it looked, I liked what the best said/stood for. All the brits I met during this time were ‘mad’ about brit-pop and a band I would later love called Blur.
1995 I got a job at Hard Rock Café and my taste leaned a bit harder as rock music was being hammer into my head everyday at work, at the same time I was diving in to Britpop with gusto.

1997 I moved to Philadelphia, by this time my musical tastes were all over the place and I was at a point in my life, I was 27(?) where I listened to what I wanted to, not cause it was cool or popular, but because I liked it…as long as it was alive and fun and interesting!!

That theme…interesting, fun, alive is still where I am today…currently I can love the new Beyonce, TV on the Radio, Antony and the Johnson, Bjork, Santo Gold, Britney Spears and Bollywood all at the same time and feel by each….I am happy with in my musical world…I love the rush I get from getting the latest CD from some band I love…simply, in 2009, I can say I love music…Music is my Boyfriend!

Side note---The next night I went back to the same KFC restaurant with some co-workers and the guy at the counter said “you here again, where is your partner?” and it made me think…you know how on LOST Hurley has some sort of ‘magic ability’...like he sees ‘things’…well Hurley used to work at this fast food chicken restaurant Mr. Clucks… what if this guy is the Indian Hurley, what if he can/is seeing something…what if this Kerelan doctor SHOLUD be my partner…and then I came to my senses…and realized that I should get out more…end scene!

And now for those who don’t know and for my mom…here’s some vintage Kris!!

Peace out and Rock on!!

photo funda part 2

2009-02-03T11:14:00.008+05:30

these next pics are of my awesome Christmas decorations and from a Christmas party i went to...I found this shop near me that sold decorations but not a wide selection. On Christmas eve i went to midnight mass (which was from 8:30 to 10:45? when i asked why it wasn't at midnight they said "because of terrorist". I went with a co-worker and his friends it was nice. Mass was in four different languages (Hindi, English Marathi, and some south Indian language) but they didn't repeat each part they just did each section in a different tongue. The church was in the Christan part of town and there were tons of shop selling Christmas junk so next year I'm a gonna go
crazy(ier)...

the next pics are from the after-mass party...there is no explanation possible...The guy in the white button down is my co-worker Harvey...he got fired two weeks ago and it sucked he was my best work friend!

and lastly from New Years...my co-worker Aili had a party...and here is some of the madness

so there you have it...Mumbai...i know it looks like all i do is go to parties but it was the holidays...since then i only watch TV...ok so thats a lie...anyway...rock on!!

photo funda part 1

2009-02-02T17:20:00.005+05:30

so friday my office banned Facebook, myspace, and all types of chat services...so today i have nothing to do...haha...

so i'll update...themaid search is sort of dead in the water...my friend had one and said she could come to my place as well but she wanted to be there all the time and i have a tiny tiny place. her being there too much felt like too much, ya know. anyway when we were talking about the maid my indian said youre a gora (white) why should you be washing clothes...ouch!!

i bought a bed...which shouldnt be big news but i have just been putting it off for the past year...and anyway the deliver on the 7th then the next day a guy will come to put it together...

so work is kinda stinky right now...like for the past 4 months...taking this job may have been a mistake...but if there is one thing India has taught me, time and time again...India gives you just what you need...you may not know you need it, or what to do with it, but you'll figure it out, then it will be awesome! so i am just going to sit back and let India work her magic!!

below are some pics...first are my co-workers

these are mango's...i've eaten mango's before, but here in India they grow magic into them, they are a-ma-zing!! there are like 20 different kinds...these are the ones i like...i don't know their name it begins with a "T"

For some reason i wake up early in India...maybe it's my age..anyway this is the morning view from my balcony...they are not good quality...i live next to a mountain, between me and the mountain is a milk colony (dairy) you can sort make it out at the bottom...i love it there!!!

i have more but so this may be a two parter...

blackberry obama lost

2009-01-22T16:40:00.005+05:30

i am think about getting the new blackberry storm and becoming one of those people. i keep thinking i need to buy a bed, but i would rather have a cool phone...maybe i already am one of those people.

next week i am interviewing maids...i am totally one of those people!!!

p.s.this week i was happy, go obama...and sad "lost" isn't shown in india!!

High School Musical 1987

2008-12-29T15:45:00.004+05:30

you will be missed!

2008-12-29T14:26:00.002+05:30

bombs over Mumbai

2008-12-04T16:09:00.003+05:30

As you can imagine this past week has been all about the terrorist…the area that was hit is called Coloba. It is where all the white people stay when they first come to India/Mumbai. I stayed there my first two months here. I have a love hate relationship with Coloba…

I don’t like Coloba because it’s full of tourist…it’s every western persons first stop in Mumbai. When there everyone thinks you are a tourist, as a consequence, try to sell you crap you don’t need/want at inflated “tourist prices”. Coloba is where stupid tourist buy drugs, as a consequence, dealers always approach “whites” trying to sell the” junk”. They do this thing where they act like you have bought drugs from them before; they say “last time you got these…I have more of what you bought last week”. Totally annoying.

I like Coloba because it’s far from where I live, and very different, so it’s a bit like a mini-vacation. Coloba is white friendly (i.e. cleaner streets, everyone speaks English, CD shops with western music, good coffee houses, etc.). Because of it heavy Western/British influence it feels, more than most places in Mumbai, a bit like home.

I have a walking route I follow when there, included is always a trip to the Taj Mahal Hotel. After walking Coloba it is a wonderful chill out space with killer AC, comfy seats and there’s the exciting possibility of seeing a Bollywood star. They also have one of the best book shops in the city. While beautiful, it is a strange space. The rooms are run US 500 a night (Madonna stayed there). It seems of gross considering most Mumbaikers make much less than that per month. Being there you are constantly aware of the juxtaposition.

The Taj was built by Jamsedji Tata in 1903; he was denied entry into a white’s only hotel and built the Taj for the Indian elite. It is not just a hotel but an important monument to Indian society. I will miss that Taj; it will take a year to repair!

The after-math has been a bit like that of America after 9/11. Fear, anger, a strange sense of oneness (we, India, have been attacked) and the swelling pride of Mumbaikers and their love of the city. What has been different, instead of people turning their anger to foreign soil (like us); they are lashing out at the Government for not protecting them.

The Indian government is shameful. It does nothing for the citizens and keeps India an “emerging nation” instead of the powerhouse it could be. You must realize, countries like India, Sudan (Darfur), Democratic Republic of the Congo, don’t choose to have unsafe drinking water or high infant mortality rates or insufficient power supplies or AIDS, it is their selfish, corrupt, inapt governments that keep them this way. It is much easier for the politicians to sit back and count their tax money than actually spend it on the people they serve.

SO the people have had enough. They see their tax money going for party members to live in fancy mansions, drive fancy cars and they see the poor dying in the street and the city infustruture crumbling. I think before people had a “it’s government, that’s the way it is, what you can do” attitude. Now they are pissed and taking to the streets.

The Politian’s are reacting badly, saying really stupid, stupid things about protesters and the protests. They are acting like dogs backed into a corner…there was a Politian in the south that went to visit the father of one of policeman slain in the attacks. The father, mad at the Politian garnering media attention from the visit told him to leave his house and called him a dog…which here, sometimes, has the same connotation as the n-word (dogs are not cute pets here, they are wild dirty street animals). So the mad Politian said that had the son died in another way (not being a martyr) not even a dog would turn his head to look at the funeral…meaning that people were only upset because of the way the son died instead of actually liking the son….so needless to say emotions are running high, people are reacting badly and nothing is getting done.

But just like New York, Mumbai will survive, carry on and potentially get hit again…but what to do? You can’t just sit and your room all day and worry.

safe

2008-11-28T10:17:00.001+05:30

hey everyone,

i am safe. Luckliy i live about ten miles from the attack site so all is well my end. Thank you for all the texts and phone calls. alright thats it for now. take care.

for Wi!, part 1

2008-11-26T11:23:00.005+05:30

some photos...

this is the colony i live in

and this is my flat when i first moved in...check out my squat toilet...

more later....

You Better Work!!

2008-11-24T15:16:00.002+05:30

Last Friday marks one month in da woods, Whistling Woods International that is. So far so good!

I take an auto-rickshaw to work; it’s about a 15-20 minute ride costing rs. 40, rs. 32 for the auto and 7 for entry fee into the mountain area where the school is located. It is the bumpiest ride you can ever imagine.

My work day starts at 10:30, I don’t like that it starts so late because that means it goes late (6:30) but it is this way to avoid the heat of the day which is sort of nice.

Twice daily tea/coffee is served...the coffee boys are all really funny and nice and they don’t have homes and sleep on the coffee shop/cafeteria floor at night.

Each floor of the schools office building has an office boy. His job is to do whatever we (employees) need done…I haven’t completely figured out just how much of my job I can get them to do so I can be on MySpace more but I am working on it. The guy next to me sends them to get him cigarettes and juice boxes. I do know they make copies…in fact I get in trouble for making my own copies…but I can’t wait 20 minutes for a one page copy to be made! Anyway the thing that is so utterly amazing about the office/coffee boys is that they have these kinda crappy low paying jobs (rs. 4000 per month, $80) and yet they are the happiest people in the world…it’s amazing…I think of all the bitching I’ve done at my crappy jobs over the years…

My co-worker have names like…Dnyaneshwar, Jyotrimaya, Ashmaki, Subhankar…they all seem to get upset that I can’t pronounce them while they murder the “ease” of my name...I get “Krack” a lot...I don’t know if I have to pay taxes...I get some of my pay in cash the rest a check...American holidays I don’t get off, like Thanksgiving, but I get Hindu ones off...People who are “under” me call me “sir”...there are monkeys in the trees...great veg lunches cost rs.25 (fiddy cent).

Anyway so work is...well work. Here in India, I had been living a really fun and interesting life and now...I work in a office...that’s been a little bit hard to come to terms with…I miss my fun!!

I have yet to get a full paycheck so I am also broke…which I think has made working all the harder...but in two weeks I will get paid and everything will be right again.

This movie I had a part in came out this weekend and it has already been declared a flop…it was directed by the owner of my school so things are tense today at work…my part of course was cut dramatically...which I see as cause for the films failure!

Here a video from it! Enjoy, the music is the best part...also below is a promo for the school…TTYL

school promo

the real jesus juice

2008-11-14T11:48:00.004+05:30

In India we get CNN, but it's an "international" version. Sex-pot Anderson Cooper is there as well as a "International" version of The Daily Show, it is an hour long on Sunday afternoons...sort of a "best of" the past weeks shows...

The stories on CNN International definitely have a wider world view which is great. Currently running is a special about Jim Jones, his life and the horrific outcome...please, please check listings in America and see if its running there...it is unbelievable and amazing!!!

We also get Amazing Race Asia which also incredible but in a different way...nobody drinks Kool-aid, but i wish some teams would.

and the winner is...

2008-11-05T10:24:00.004+05:30

AMERICA!!!

mumbai-washington-philadelphia-mumbai

2008-10-31T10:11:00.001+05:30

So after a crazy world wind tour of the east coast of America I have landed back in India…
Yeah I got this job and flew back to America for my work visa…I left Mumbai on Monday night at 9pm. I flew on Air India which is becoming my favorite airline…the give you socks and spray breath freshener! Because I was flying against time I left at 9 at night and 15 hours later it was 6am when I arrived….which is weird…I meet a really nice guy on the plane we talked nonstop for like four hours…he was going to work in America. His wife and child are following soon after. He’ll be there four months then back to Mumbai where he said I could come for dinner to his place!
Anyway the plane landed in New York, and then I flew on to DC. I find JFK airport kinda confusing so I am never happy to be there.
I had not been to DC since I was 17 so even though I was freaking out about visa stuff I was still really excited to see the city. I arrived around 12 noon on Tuesday and headed for the visa office. It is closed between 12-2 but I wanted to wait so I could get the ball rolling then sort a hotel. Dropped off my application and papers and they told me it would take “at least” one week.
I left and went to look for a pay phone to call a cheap hotel mom had found me on the internet. While in America I wouldn’t have a cell phone and I hadn’t realized that payphones are:
1. Gross to use.
2. Impossible to find.
3. Most don’t allow you to make long distant calls.
I called the hotel (hostel actually) and booked myself for the night…just to remind you it is now Tuesday at 3pm and I had been traveling, unshowered, sleepy now for 2 days.
The hostel like DC was amazing, I was nervous about it because most hotels in DC start at 150 a night and this was 30…so I had no idea what I was getting into but it was dreamy! I was in a dorm room with four bed and four locker for you kit. In my room was just me and a 20 year old Brazilian model…the scenery was beautiful and I isn’t talking about DC.
Dc is really beautiful, everything was so clean…this maybe because I had just arrived from Mumbai.
I sort of just stayed in that night as I was feeling cracked out from the time difference etc. I called my friends in Philly and they said I could stay there for the week while my Visa was processing…we would meet the next day….so I went to Philly and it was fun to see my peeps…

They said it would take a week “at least” for my Visa but it was ready the next day. I had already arrived in Philly so I just spent the weekend hanging with the boys. Then I took Chinatown bus for 15 dollars back to DC got the Visa and headed home.

I am going to wrap this up because now I am two weeks into my job and I need to get on with it.

They said it would take a week “at least” for my Visa but it was ready the next day. I had already arrived in Philly so I just spent the weekend hanging with the boys. Then I took Chinatown bus for 15 dollars back to DC got the Visa and headed home.

…now I have been working here two weeks and it fun, weird, interesting, boring all the things an office job is in the states,

Year Two

2008-09-22T11:54:00.003+05:30

ok ok ok, i know it has been a looooonnnggg time...but most of you have seen me and heard the stories so you havent missed much...and yet i dont know where to begin...

so i went to america and now i am back in Mumbai...to begin the second year...

my first year i saw as my "get use to it" year. everything was new and crazy and wonderful and well you've read about it!
i really want year two to be about settling down, making a life here...and that means i need a job, a real job.

say goodbye to bollywood...it of course is with a bit of saddness that i say that...my year spent in bollywood has been probaly my favorite year EVER!!! i do believe that bollywood is not a place one should live forever and i need to leave before it goes too bad....

so job...i think there is nothing in the world i hate more than job hunting...cause, like, i dont want to do anything...'cept shop, listen to new records, watch movies/TV, hang with friends, and drink coffee...but that hasnt been listed in monster.com.

Sunday last week i went shoping, coffee drinking hanging with friends...while doing thismy frind david recieved a call...and we were off to a sunday festival where people make these huge Ganesh statues, pray to them, then push them into the water...so i went to this party/festival, meet a lady, she knew of a job at a film school, i applied, and got the job!!! Go me!!

yeah that was the fast version...so i will be working at Whistling Woods International (google it!) i will be working in the admission department, making really good money and I AM THRILLED beyong words...

when i got back from america things kinda got poopy here...i kept thinking "no, in india only good happens to me" i feared i had run out of good luck, used it all up the first year...but i scraped the sides of the jar and found a little more and life is wonderful...

so sometime over the next week i will have to fly back to america, i need to get a work Visa now, i know it stinks i was just there, what to do?

once back i begin the new job, new money, new friends (Firoz, more on that later, wink wink) new year...i am so mary tyler moore or maybe alice!!!

alive and kickin'

2008-07-23T14:05:00.000+05:30

yeah so i am still alive...

tons has happen...kinda...just not into bloggin' at the moment...over the past month i have really made an effort to get and make friends...so i end up telling them everything that before i would have blogged about...i guess i need to find a balance...so i think me and some new friends may go to the beach this weekend i promise to try and get some new post before then but definitely next week...

take care i love you all

ketchupin 2

2008-06-25T20:49:00.000+05:30

forgive me father for it has been a week since my last blog...and what a week...

it began great...

Friday i had a date...and it was good and fun, everything a date should be...dinner, movie and a peck on the check at the end.

Saturday morning i got a call from Yash Raj studios to come for an audition. Yash Raj is the mecca studio here...when they call you jump! so i went for the audition...the film was shooting in Thailand so if got the part they would fly me out that night to Thailand...i would shot for two days with this really big star couple Ranbir Kapoor and Deepika Padukone (the bragelina of bollywood) and then be flown back and make very big money. i always think i did bad after an audition but this time i actually felt kinda good.

i also lined up a back up job should i not get the Thai gig. and there was to be a second date...so things were great...

later that day...

i didn't get the Thailand job, crap!
my back up job fell through, crap!
that night the second date was weird and awkward.
Bollywood takes you up and drops you hard!

Monday i went to shoot for a TV serial and that was cool and really good fun...i played a doctor and had to say..."dr sharma i have something to discuss with you"...going to the shoot on the train i passed out...like fainted...which was weird...see, the trains here get crowded...if you have not been here, you can not fully understand what crowded means...its not a western "oh there are no seats" crowded". here's a video and this is not an exaggeration!

anyway, it was full and really hot and i felt sickly weird...i was thinking "wow, I'll bet in this packed-in-heat could make someone faint"...and then i did...it was embarrassing...i mean who faints, right...anyway everyone was really nice and offered my their treasured seats and i ended up living and shit.

Tuesday i got a call to go shoot on this film....they were short one white guy so i rushed there, did the shot, it took 30 minutes, i got paid rs.2000 and i was done...it was perfect.

oh my photo appeared in a mag...here it is

i am famous bitch! the guy in the center is Om Puri...you may remember him from the great film East is East.

OK so that's it...i will leave with a video...i am not in and has nothing to do with nothing except that i love this song and it features the future Mr. Winkler also known as Upen Patal.

ketchupin'

2008-06-17T00:30:00.000+05:30

hey kids....so not much going on here sorry to say...not much going on in bollywood it seems due to the rains there is not much in production, which means i don't work, which means i am getting broke, ooppps!

the serial i am going to work on starts shooting end of this month so that's something. i am also being considered for a movie role, fingers crossed, that won't start until septemberish.

oh here's something...i am coming to the states for a visit...i leave here
August 12Th and will be in America for about 2-3 weeks (mark your calenders). i need to renew my visa and i miss everyone so...i will be bring sexy back!

so that's my India this week. not extremely exciting but still fun!

here is a Nokia ad i am in...it was the one i auditioned to be a singing cowboy for...which p.s. that part got completely cutout of the final Ad...i shot for two days on this and am in it for .05 seconds if i didn't point me out you'd never know...fame is a bitch...i am at .11 seconds, in the foreground, to the left (beyonce!) and i have a baby doll on my lap (don't ask)...

i will leave you with this...it's the trailer for Kismet Konnection...the film i am in which opens 17Th July...it also opens in America, so you Philly and Jersey folks can see it in New York...enjoy!!!

oh it's on bitches...

2008-06-06T17:18:00.000+05:30

the monsoon has begun...KA-POW!!!

yeah, so that was chessy, whatever...

and Sex and the City has had it's Mumbai premier...i saw the 10.45 show and cried like a baby...it was great to have the girls back...

thats it for now i am gonna go swim home...TTYL

it's a gonna happen ya'll...

2008-06-04T16:03:00.000+05:30

and i couldn't be happier!!!!

just waiting...and dreaming

2008-06-04T15:22:00.000+05:30

its 4th Wednesday...last night it rained for the first time in the 8 months since i have been here...it was strange. Everybody is on monsoon watch, people even bet on which day it will start. so last night it started to rain and i was really excited and yet it just seemed so regular like the rain didn't seem as special as i had expected...it went on for about 10 minutes then stopped. apparently it was just a pre-monsoon rain and not the actual monsoon...kinda of like a movie trailer...so the waiting game continues. it did manage to cool things down a bit and i had my first sweatless night in about four months...yeah it hot here, totally retarded.

some news stuff...

i shoot an ad-film about two months ago and they just started playing it on TV...my part was cut out completely...tear!

for my part in "kismet konnection" they have dubbed my voice...so it will be me as the actor but the voice coming out of my head will be some other guy...which i kinda hate but that's the way it's done here...this girl i know was at the dubbing and said my part looked really good and she was impressed by me.

i think i am shoot another ad-film this weekend i am waiting for the call...

SATC opens Friday and my plan is to go several times on Friday to see it.

oh so the gay role in the film from last week...so on Thursday i did the audition and got to see the script...they sold it to me as a "positive" gay character...when i showed up they tried to put me in high heels fur coat drag-queen make up. i took a political stand and was seen, i think, as a trouble maker. i got them to change my outfit and forget the make-up and everything turned out ok'ish. it just felt strange cause if they had said the character is a drag queen type i could have made the decision "do i want to be a part of this part portrayal or not" but by sort of leading me on...anyway...it's over!

next day i had an audition for an ad-film, the one that i think shoots this weekend...i had to play a dad comforting his scared daughter...i totally thought about how i would have spoken to my niece when we were hanging last year and it went well...thanks Caroline!

i have a really good friend, a fellow actor, named Steven. he lives in Delhi but is in Mumbai for the summer. we have been hanging out and its so much fun just to be able to communicate normally with someone (he's British, funny and gets the jokes).

alright that's it for now...i have to go for a make-up, costume, screen test later for the soap...i have never had to do this before...they are making my costume just for me and they want to try different period hairstyles on me..fun!! this is kinda a big deal part...I'll have a script and trailer...crazy!

anyway don't dream it, be it...

mein tere khoon pee jaahoonga

2008-05-29T11:57:00.000+05:30

last Friday i did a shoot for a film called "fashion". i had done crowd scene for before...it was boring but finished early and one of my favorite people Shafiq was there. he's an awesome Afghan guy, really smart and funny. he's 24(?) and has lived more lives than all of us put together. it's crazy how people live in these "war torn" countries and instead of giving up on life they find a way to push forward and end up being stronger than you could ever imagine...talking to him is always fun and enlightening!

that night, my trainer...so yeah i have this trainer, strange part is, i don't belong to his gym and he does not actually train me but he always introduces me as someone he trains, which given my body shape and low muscle mass does not make him look very skilled at training...so anyway he called and said he wanted to come over...which is odd cause we sort of don't have that "come over" kind of relationship...i guess i have a stupid crush on him, he use to be Mr.India so he's a muscle giant, blah blah blah. he came over and we watched cricket...i know right...anyway i have sort of gotten into cricket...there is this cricket series called the IPL and it's fun...all the bollywood stars own a team and it's filled with controversy...anyway...the trainer (Rana) comes over we drink whiskey, watch cricket and then he jumps up and says he has to go...end scene...it was too weird...twenty minutes later he calls and says he's at a party and i should come, he'll text me the address...an hour later he calls to say the party isn't safe for me to be at...i don't know. i go to bed.

Saturday night...trainer calls and we meet at this intersection of a major highway where we have to meet some friends. while waiting for the friends he drags me around showing people that he in fact hangs out with white people...we then get on his motorcycle and go riding around. it was one of those moments in life where you just have to stop and think...life is great and funny...here i am in India riding around on the back of a bike with mr.india...and despite the intense weirdness of our friendship, this moments is fun!! we met his friends. trainer presses his finger against his nose and says "do you want"...i said 'you do drugs' he looked horrified and so "no...prostitutes"...so what we think of as the "do a bump" symbol here means "do you want whore sex"....i said "i am a Christan i can't" and thus Jesus saved me from sleeping with a prostitute. we went to a bar and drank then he dropped me of at home. he told me that if anyone ever was mean to me he would "crush" them...how can you not love that...

Sunday i had an audition for an ad-film, which i thought went well, but i didn't get it. for the audition, i had to say famous lines from Hindi films past...the ads a spoof on people learning Hindi by watching bollywood films...i learned how to say "mein tere khoon pee jaahoonga"..."i will drink your blood". it's the Indian equivalent of "I'll be back". i say it all the time now!!

Monday i went to an audition for a TV serial. they handed me the script and it was all in Hindi. "oh, i don't speak Hindi". "that's OK" an hour later i am sent in for audition and they are shocked that in the hour i waited i didn't learn Hindi. so i didn't do the audition...two days later i got a call that they were giving me a part...this city, ya gotta love it...i haven't heard anything since so i think they may have changed their minds, they were so disorganized that i don't really mind...and TV pay is low so...

i was called to do another day on the fashion shoot. it was an awards banquet scene and i got to sit on stage as a "presenter or judge"...then they filmed and "after party' scene in which i was grouped with the main actors and that was really really cool...star fucker!

yesterday i went for an audition for a film and got the part. i shooting my scene today in a few hours...i have lines!! the film is called "straight" and is about a guy trying to figure out if he is a "homo gay"...very shocking for bollywood...it seems like right now gay is the new black in bollywood....so bring it on...I'll tell you about the shoot tomorrow...

i just got back from a fitting for the TV serial i am going to do...i got all my questions answered and feel really good about it...it's set in 1750, i will play a banker not a doctor i will shot between 5-8 days per month for the next 3 months, which is a good job...so this has been a good week...it's felt great to be working again...OK i gotta wrap this up...take care

hey ya'll

2008-05-27T11:58:00.000+05:30

OK i am a bad blogger...sorry...i have been working a bit...I've done some auditions...and i kinda of need to run now but will try to update you later...i have a pretend new boyfriend, Jesus saved me from sleeping with a prostitute, i think i have been cast in yet another long term serial and at 1:24 i can be seen in this video....

get random

2008-05-20T19:13:00.000+05:30

1. gym: gyms here are expensive, more expensive than in the west. they are seen as such a luxury item that they can be given a high price tag. there are "cheap" gyms but India is proof absolute of the old saying "you get what you pay for". most gyms here have "ladies only" hours that run from 11-4. wearing street shoes is not allowed in the gyms, you must have a special pair of "dedicated" shoes and they are not to ever touch the street outside. i think i have narrowed my search but...every time i think I've picked one i find a new one and one of my big issues with being here in India is...

2. sounding board: i have to make every decision completely alone. while all my life i have applauded my freedom, sometimes i just want a second opinion. "which is better, the green umbrella or the red?"

3. rain: the monsoons are just a few weeks away and the city is sort of gearing up. you know how around Christmas you could run into an old friend and say "let's get together soon for coffee" and they say "oh it will have to be after the holidays"...well, that's sort of how the rains are seen. people apparently hibernate, yet it also seems like people don't even think about them, they are just a fact. i am really excited to see what it's like.

4. deodorant: c'mon India...learn the joys of real deodorant...and by real i mean...not AXE. people here just use these "axe" type of body sprays. most times this means spraying it in the pit area but OVER your shirt. they even do it that in the commercials. umm, i ride the public crowded trains, take it from me ,that does not work.

5.Gas: one of the most popular jeans brands here is called gas, people who wear them think they are hot shit...i think having fart written on your ass would at least be funny.

6. love story 2050 is a film about to be released. it is India's first ever sci-fi film...it looks really gooodish, i am in the background in one scene, the shoot was boring but the whole film is shot on green screen so it was interesting to see that process.

7. SITC will be released here on 6th June....i am thrilled!!!! unfortunately it will be edited for India sensibilities. yuck!

8. there is an Indian in WWF, who knew right...well India did and he is a superstar here...his name is Khaili, i think, and he is the most physically unattractive person in the world. he has just come back to India and you would think he fucking Jesus Christ reborn. on the news they do story's like khaili goes to the supermarket, khaili parks his car,,,he is sooo ugly but the best part is he's retarded, yes that's right retarded. now i don't think he was born retarded i think it's that weird retardation that come from steroid use...where is makes your vocal cords all drag queen sounding. mix that with type retardation that comes from getting bet up all the time...and you have retardation...now you have Khaili...but don't EVER EVER question he's retardation in India "is he retarded?" is met with fury and scorn...i say it all the time...hehe. here is a picture that actually makes him look somewhat decent...it's all about lighting...

alright i have to go watch D.A. win american idol...talk o you later!!!

today was a good day

2008-05-13T19:57:00.000+05:30

considering the tragedy in china i guess it's not proper to title a blog as such but...it was a good day (for me).

i have had a really really bad head cold the past TWO WEEKS and i didn't realize the effect it was having on my general well being until yesterday when it decided to move on finding someone else's ass to kick. i thought i was just being lazy and didn't want to leave this house...but now the clouds have parted and i am back. it feels good!!!

about getting well: in India there are no prescription drugs. everything is OTC, yes everything; Valium, ketamine (this isn't in spell check but i guess you know what i mean, special K), Oxycontin...everything. when you need something you just go to the "pharmacy" and they give it to you. i told the clerk i had congestion and for 20 rupees he gave me these pills that made me loopy loopy loopy then i would sleep for 3 hours. but they worked so now i am better. ya me!!

i also worked today. i did a voice over. it was kinda fun. the strange part was...the guy i was dubbing: an American, is yelling at some Indian kids for being mean to his children...there was an empty space between 2 lines, so to fill it they had me say "you Indians are bad people, why don't you all just go back to India". i felt really uncomfortable in a room full of indians saying that...i know it's just a charcter in a film and fictional at that but...the director, somebody who's name i forgot, is actually somebody important here, so i said to him. "I really don't like saying that, it perpetuates a racist stereotype of Americans and takes the films story to a different place"...crickets chirp...he says "it's just Bollywood". end scene.

seems like the soap opera isn't dead yet but i really don't know anything else. the agent said (via SMS) that he had heard back and would call later, that was 2 days ago.

i am still gym hunting...i know i know...i am not working maybe joining a gym isn't the best thing...

anyway...love yourself..oh and i love the new madonna!

DeCocooning

2008-05-06T21:04:00.000+05:30

remember when i used to blog...well that was when i stuff to say but as of late...I've been spending way too much time doing a whole lot of nothing...i am not really working so much...in the past 3 weeks I've worked three days...so not too much is going on...but sadly i can tell you everything under the sun about Indian TV...speaking of Indian TV...i auditioned for a TV show which is a "historical soap opera" about the whole British VS. Indians thing. they called today to say i got a part (a doctor). that is sort of all i know, i think it's a six month commitment (awesome!) and i know that it shoots outside of Mumbai so when i am required i would have to stay the night out of Mumbai. we are going through the process now of figuring out payment...which is the icky part...they call and say "you have a part, how much do we have to pay you"...thing is they don't tell you any details of what i would actually be doing...so it's a weird process and even though they want me the whole thing could die in negations...but anyway...it will be as god wills it!!!

other than that i have just been cocooning...which has been nice but i know i need to start getting out...so i will...just as soon as American Idol, Amazing Race and Survivor are over...

oh and because i know you were all loosing sleep over it...I got the Madonna!!!

HAPPY MA-DONNA DAY!!!!

2008-04-29T19:21:00.000+05:30

today is the day americans can buy the new madonna...six months from now i will be able to as well...enjoy it kids!!

i got a TV cable HBO and i have just left my house for the first time in two days...i can't stop watching...had i not needed food...anyway

within the first hour of watching i saw myself in a commercial...then over the past two days have seen the same commercail like twenty times...it plays on MTV and HBO.

anyway that's india so far this week. i work tomorrow and again on friday.

i saw the darjeeling ltd. it was perfect!!!!

for your pleasure

2008-04-25T15:56:00.000+05:30

some random things for your pleasure:

an agent called me last night and asked how old i am. when i said "38" he said "oh, very bad" and then disconnected.

people love to ask what i miss the most bout home...of course family and friends is first...then comes MUSIC...i hear it makes "the bourgeoisie and the rebels"...i really miss music...i miss my CD's...i miss getting the latest CD's...i miss the funky jams!!!
western music here consists of Queen, George Micheal, akon, Enrique, Shakira...i miss bjork, radiohead etc. etc.

i have a couple lizards that live in or around my apartment. in the beginning was really freaked out by them. now i like seeing them. they all have names-there is a left-eye lopez. lizards are good cause eat bugs. i seem to have a gnat problem at the moment, i am just hoping left-eye gets busy on some gnat d' hovers.

i also have living my window sill a pigeon, his name is broken wing, cause-on-a-count he has a broken wing. he seems to be a ladies man, as everyday is joined on the sill, they spend the whole day grooming each other followed by dirty things.

i bought a TV. when the sales man asked if i had any questions the only thing my lazy ass could think of was "does it have a remote?".

i saw the following movies recently..
"wedding daze" (amazingly funny),
"Dan in real life" (great great great),
"Horton hears a who?" (god i hate Jim carry. this was one of my favorite sorties as a young and they screwed it up, i did however like the political overtones to the film, that was smart!)
"the spiderwick chronicles"...which was kinda good but not really, it was entertaining and the girl was a fencer, so that's points. the movie posters for the film all say "coming this Christmas", it opened here last week.

here is my favorite headline from this mornings paper..."Christina Rucci sexually assaulted by a chimpanzee"

i have diarrhea. i haven't worked all week, hence all the movie watching.

i met a guy that owns a gym near my house. i am supposed to go see it next week. the dues are rs.150 per month which is $3.00 US.

in the morning paper there was a story 'bout a lady whose husband is sent to prison. she becomes a lawyer to help defend him. she got him out of jail. one month later he, upon seeing that as a lawyer her status was now higher then his, kills her.

when "M. night shyamalan" is talked about here..they make a point to use his full name "Manoj Night Shyamalan".

here is a map of mumbai...i live near the bottom of the big green park area...goregaon east...from my place to the bottom of the city takes about 40 mins by train....but i never go there except to make cheap phone calls to the US.

a death, a monkey, a penis and a prince!

2008-04-20T13:46:00.000+05:30

Hanuman Jayanti!!

today is the birthday of the monkey god Hanuman.

and now on to this...last night i went to a party and the 'gay Oprah prince' was there we totally hung out and he said i should come out to the palace sometime...too funny me at the palace....

in the paper the is a column for sex advice called 'ask the sexpert' (so original) and basically people (boys) write in with really stupid questions (i kissed my girlfriend, do you think she could be pregnant) and the 'sexpert' doles out really bad advice (see a doctor). one time a girl wrote in and said..."i have a big vagina, not deep, but big, like it sticks out, like a small penis, it looks like a penis, in fact, i think i have a penis, what should i do". it's been three weeks i can't stop laughing....

my camera died...i dropped it and it smashed to bits...i am totally gutted.

enjoy your day...Hanuman is the remover of obstacles, so if you have any in your life pray to him today and they will be removed!!!

shopping

2008-04-19T16:09:00.000+05:30

here is what my market bill looks like this week:

tub of oatmeal rs.97.02
indian dessert mix rs.27.72
100g butter rs.17.82
indian potato chips rs.23.76
curry paste rs.15
cashews 500g rs.290
fancy bakery bread rs.28
button mushrooms .19kg rs.23.28
fancy pasta-gnocchi rs.135
garlic .09kg (2cloves) rs.5.55
rice 1kg rs.18.50
tiger biscuit cookies rs.10
pasta-elbow rs.75
coat hangers rs.86
cutting board rs.149
3 eggs rs.6

us $1 = rs.39

across from my house is a shopping mall, the ground floor is a poorly laid out supermarket, called Food Bazzar. the employees are really rude and have very limited knowledge. the bag boys throw your stuff in the bag, it almost seems like they are trying to break shit. supermarkets are sort of new to india and they need to practice how to run them a little better. i also do a great deal of shopping at Hypercity which is like a target. it is much better run but futher away. they sell everything. half the stuff above came from hypercity and half food bazzar.

aside from shopping...i did a voiceover this week and it was actully fun. i was also in the film. it is the one where i am killed by a puppet. i didnt get to see that scene but the movie looks kinda good and kinda bad all at once. booked in the studio after me was shahid kapur. i wanted to wait but they said he would be an hour late.

i will do a tally at the end of the month but so far this is my highest grossing month in bollywood. scary!

tootin'

2008-04-16T20:11:00.000+05:30

i have a million things to tell ya'll and now that i sit here...i can't think of one.

so the "Internet cafe" that i blog from has been running really slow lately and some days they are just not open so that's why the blogs have been few and far...

yesterday i worked on an ad-film (commercail) for a cable channel here in Mumbai called "Ferangi" which is a fancy word for "honkey". they play all western shows and movies dubbed in Hindi. i played Sherlock Holmes, not to toot my own horn, but i looked good when i watched they play back. speaking of horn tooting....the best part of the day was i got to hang out with all the "permanent western crew of actors"...i like them all...they always have fun stories, teach me how to get more money for work and have been here for years and years, so they give me hope or maybe show me that living here can work out. they are fun fun guys.

anyway there was this one guy, i had never met before, and he kept saying "not to toot my own horn" and then would talk about himself for like four hours straight...it was funny and sort of sad. he has written a book based in India, i was really interested in hearing how he did that (got it published) because i may have...possibly...sort of ...started writing something...that may be nothing...or something. i, of course, have already written my acceptance speech for when i win the noble prize for literature!

oh and one time horn tooter was telling some story, about himself, and his shirt was sort of hanging open and his nipple was sticking out. i kept thinking, how do i ask him to put away his nipple (cause it's making me gag)...i couldn't find a classy way.

last week i auditioned for the singing cowboy, which i didn't get. i got another part in the same ad-film playing a mad scientist(i think). i didn't really understand the premise but being the amazing actor that i am i pulled it off! there was nothing special about the shoot except that i made bank.

i heard this song on the radio and it really stuck in me head so i just googled it to find out more and it is actually by this guy i knew when i lived in Atlanta. we were kinda friends. "king of my castle" by the wamdue project. (video below)

i went for an audition today and when i got there they had me fill out a questionnaire that was mainly about what "blood group" i belong too. i said "will i be bleeding on set", they, in a confused manner, said "no". they described the part as "a guy nobody likes, a real mean guy"...i thought great, I've been type casted yet again! so the audition, after the blood group questionnaire consisted of them taking my photo and nothing else...the crazy part is that to get the audition, i had to send them my photos and it just so happened that today, i was wearing the same green shirt that i have have on in the photos i had e-mailed them. oh India!!!

as probably none of you, except my mother, know one of my favorite things in the world is reading the "brides" section of the Sunday paper. i love seeing what jobs people have and what loser honeymoons people go on: an example...a couple from Philadelphia will honeymoon in Wildwood at the Jersey shore (which is a redneck trailer park beach an hour from Philly)...in India there is no brides section but they do have a "matrimonial" section. this is where you post when seeking a bride or husband for your son or daughter....and its good...the guys are all looking for slim tall fair homely girls (homely meaning domestic, not ugly). the women are all looking for h'some tall MBA'S with Visa's to the USA. i decided to create my own profile in the style of these ad's...here is part of it:

they all start "SM 4" which means "seeking match for"

SM 4 h'someish, extremely fair guy 31/8/69 8:35am 38/172. USA educated semi-established in mumbai (goregaon east). family of high repute...

i end with "religion/caste no bar, no dowry req."

to explain...the ads all have the date and time of birth so the horoscopes can be matched... "38/172", i am 38 and 172cm tall...saying your "foreign educated" is a big plus...i loved saying EXTREMELY fair...family being of "high repute" seems to be a big deal....and all the desperate people end with "caste no bar" which means that even people poorer or below them in social status can apply...

so i have i mentioned i have a lot of free time....

king of my castle...

schizo!

2008-04-08T19:44:00.000+05:30

alright so i am still very much alive....i just have not felt like blogging...sorry.

things are going really really well...working less, but on much higher paying jobs...so that's great.
i bought socks. and a bowl and mug. and my life isn't as boring as that sounded...i don't know what to say its been so long.

i went on an audition today to play a cowboy in an nokia ad...when i got there they handed me a guitar and said its a SINGING cowboy...they video taped the whole mess. god willing it will end up on youtube...i sang country roads.

i did an Air-tel Ad-film last week and played a roman guard.

yesterday i did a promo video for a local university where i played a professor. it was set in the future and felt very Woodie Allen sleeper.

so a professor, singing cowboy, roman guard...i am professionally a schizophrenic.

take care...keep the dream alive!!!
(remember boycotting the Olympics is the right thing to do!!!)

torch china

2008-03-31T20:06:00.000+05:30

Boycott the Olympics!

(back to the regular bollywood dribble tomorrow)

that's two down-feeling good

2008-03-27T12:38:00.000+05:30

last week i went out of town for a shooting. the place is called Panvel and is about an hour and a half outside of Mumbai. it was a disaster. just to cut to the chase one of my agents (blacktoothes boyfriend) screwed me over and didn't pay what he promised. his attitude was "what are you going to do about it". the worst part is he's right...there is nothing i can do about...if i stop working for him...i loose money and he brought me jobs. i am still really mad and still plotting revenge. Everybody had warned me he was like that but i had really never had problems with him. the only good thing from the shoot is i met this girl there, an extra, and after everybody went home one night...she slept with the films star. his name is Zayed Khan. she told me all the details. it was fun!

this week, my other agent screwed me over. i went for an audition, a speaking part on a soap..turned out it was in Hindi, which i don't speak. anyway they wanted Hindi spoken with a foreign accent. i got the part but it was really really uncomfortable and i said i didn't want to do it...my agent flipped out and said i had to do it or else I'll never work in this town again....

so that's two down...i think like everything else i do...i may have stayed in Bollywood too long...i always stay in jobs relationships apartments way to long...i am sometimes the king of beating a dead horse...how many times have i written here that i thought it was time to look for other work? looking for jobs stinks!!!
now i have to really look for a job...no really, i am gonna start...
of course i blame my mother, if she had only married a rich man...

i saw the film 10,000 BC. it wasn't good. i got some really amazing jeans (before i realized i was out of work). i do have one other job lined up for Saturday but it's a one off job. i returned my hair clippers and got new ones, i know everyone was worried. i got 'kelis' greatest hits CD, it's awesome. i have a little cold. we are in the build up to the Monsoons so Mumbai is hot already in the 90's and it will just get hotter and hotter until it breaks in June...so everyone has AC on and you get sick going from outside sweating to inside freezing.

so that's mumbai...i feel like i may be in a bit of a rough patch with work but i still incrediably happy...so no fretting. india gives and gives so i just have to wait and see what she's got in store next...everything always works out!!!

Ruth E. Oliver

2008-03-24T09:52:00.000+05:30

hate to start the week on a sad note but...

my grandmom died.

about 10 or 12 years ago she had a stroke and this began her gradual decline. for the past 3-4 years she has been fighting off old age. the past year she has been bed ridden. 21 days ago she stopped eating. then, last Tuesday died.

my grandmom loved 4 things most - Family, Elvis, Yard Sales, and Raid Bug Spray.

she bought me my first suit. blue polyester; in that suit i was unstoppable.

I remember going to her house most Easter breaks. on hand there was always plenty of Jello with cool whip, banana pudding made from Nilla Waffers, and heaps and heaps of love. her house had furniture much different from ours fantastical things like Crystal cigarette lighters. there was a graduation picture of my mom, in her cap and gown, i grew up always thinking that mom, had, at some time, been a nurse.

my wit and humour comes directly from her. she and my grandfather were funny funny people. my family has an amazing capacity to laugh; at life and more importantly, ourselves. my family are the funniest people i know. it all started with her. i see that wit and humour now passed through to my niece and nephew - "literally".

of course it is with sadness that my family has to say good-bye to our matriarch, yet also a sense of relief, her life had become unlivable at the end. as long as my family continues to laugh, and we will, she will, be right there laughing with us.

alright granny this ones for you....

blackberry tooth

2008-03-16T14:33:00.000+05:30

Tuesday i bought hair clippers, they stopped working on Saturday.
Wednesday i was an extra on some film. there was only one other western. turns out she is the girlfriend of one of my agents. she's from Canada and has a black tooth. she is madly in love with him. she flys to India twice a year to be with him. he totally cheats on her. she works at McDonald's in Canada.
Wednesday night i did a night shoot. it was an outdoor rock concert. it was semi fun. black tooth was there.
Thursday i did a movie staring Govinda, he's an actor turned politician, turned actor. he's a bit of an ass but everybody loves him here. the shoot was fun. a big dance production. i don't think i will be able to be seen though. i got to meet one of my favorite Indian extras...I'll explain. there's a film called "om shanti om" in the liner notes of the CD they have photos from the set etc. this one kid is in every picture. i think of him as my extra guru. it's hard to get in every photo from a set. one time some friends were looking at my "om shanti" CD and they said "who is that freaky guy in every picture". i felt hurt. anyway he was on this film and i said i recognized him and you could tell that it really made his day.
Friday i did the same Govinda film. one of the production guys wears a wig, a really bad wig. i took a photo.
Saturday i got a call that the salman khan film i did a few weeks ago needed me back this coming week. it requires that i go out of town for the shooting, 4-5 days. i really loved working on this film and am excited. only trouble is...the 20th is Holi and i wanted to be here (my colony) to celebrate. [Holi is a festival where you wear white and people throw colored powder on you...it's so much more than that but i don't feel like explaining...lazy author here.]

ok here's more holi info:

On the first day, bonfires are lit at night to signify burning the demoness Holika, Hiranyakashipu's sister.

On the second day, known as Dhuleti, people spend the day throwing coloured powder and water at each other. The spring season, during which the weather changes, is believed to cause viral fever and cold. Thus, the playful throwing of the coloured powders has a medicinal significance: the colours are traditionally made of Neem, Kumkum, Haldi, Bilva, and other medicinal herbs prescribed by Āyurvedic doctors. A special drink called thandai is prepared, sometimes containing bhang (Cannabis). People invite each other to their houses for feasts and celebrations later in the evening.

speaking of holidays, i completely forgot about lent and Easter. i was talking with this American guy and he mentioned he gave up drinking for lent. i had forgotten all about it. i met an Indian christian that invited me to come to church with his family on Easter.

anyway so i will be away next week and not blogging. my plan is, since i will be "on vacation with salman all week", i am going to force him to become my new best friend. wish me luck!!!

this is a hilarious video from Govinda's past. he played superman here in India. i love spidergirl!!!

marionettes hate me

2008-03-11T20:10:00.000+05:30

hey ya'll...I've been a working the past couple of days...and it went a little something like this...

Thursday and Friday i was on set for a new soap...the set was a soccer field, luckily, i was "cast" as the commentator and not a player. they had to run and i don't run. as commentator, i sat in the box with an Indian and he did all the talking, i just had to react to what he said. i was "not to speak, just react". i was doing all this great stuff: finger pointing, laughing at his jokes, giving thumbs up. after the shot i watched play back, the camera wasn't even on me the whole time...my 15 minutes are running out. i got paid well for two days of shooting so whatever. i like doing TV, but there are no stars that i am interested in on TV that part is blah. There was an American kid there from Philly, he lives one block from my old place...talking to him made me sort of sad...seems like another life ago.

Saturday i was off...i accidentally ripped my pants, beyond repair, on a piece of metal from the side of an rickshaw. they were my favorite pants, now i am down to 3 pair...i need some clothes bad! India is kinda dirty and i hand wash everything, so all clothes have stains and spots on them. i was supposed to go out Saturday but then got a job for Sunday so i could not. i plan to go out every Saturday but then always get work on Sundays and can't. sometimes i just want to have fun.

Sunday and Monday i worked on a film called "druma" (i think). in it my character gets killed by a marionette, seriously a marionette. the villain has magic powers and makes these marionettes come to life, one stabs me. the worst part is that my costume was a bright yellow corduroy suit. the writer of the film was there and i said next time could you make the suit black and fashionable. he looked confused at my joke and said there would not be a part 2. the star of the film is Abhishek Bachchan. i really wanted to meet him but was not there on my two days. he's one of the last on my list of "to meets". he's "the most handsome man in Bollywood" married to the "prettiest woman in Bollywood" she's Aishwarya Rai. his dad is the Elvis of Bollywood, he's not a singer, he's an actor, but has achieved that level of stardom. anyway...all these names, ya'll don't care do you?

so that was my week...more happened but i need to go, so maybe more later

my song of the week!!

I have gas!

2008-03-04T15:15:00.000+05:30

after three months in my flat i finally have gas...what? you say i could have just eaten some beans...not that kind of gas...i mean cooking gas. see my place didn't come with a cooker or gas. so i had to buy one and get a gas tank. it has taken me a loooong time but today i signed the contract and tomorrow between 10 and 4 my 14 kg. canister of gas will arrive. i can't wait to cook some pasta!

a gas fact: Cooking gas is Liquefied Petroleum Gas, LPG in short. LPG, as the name implies, is gas in liquid form under pressure. It is filled under pressure in cylinders, stored and then transported to your house. LPG in gaseous form is almost twice as heavy as air. When released it always settles down on the floor level. It is colourless and also odourless, so a special odour is added at the plant to give it a distinctive smell for easy detection in case of leakage.

my gangster said he would help me...wait, did i tell you i have a gangster, yeah well he is a real life gangster (he told me he could have people "hurt" if i needed). he's been to jail and has an office, where, as far as i can tell, no actual "work" goes on. i don't like to accept his help cause even if he never asks me for money i know sooner or later...so anyway i felt really good that i didn't need his help and was able to sort it. actually this 15 year old kid i am friends with (a gangster and a 15 year old, oi vey!) he told me where to go for gas. he was attacked by a python last month. he is at 15, 6'5" and very serious about his studies.

i am still not working..this is day five i had such a kick ass past two weeks and now...kuch nahin (nothing)!

here's something...at the mall across from my house they have "an american style dollar store" it sells all these weird american products like fiddle faddle...and everything cost rs.99 which is actually like $2.50. but downtown is the indian version of a dollar store...which i love, everything cost rs.25 (fiddy cent). it has more of the crap you'd find in an american dollar store except they do have indian specific items like "lizard away" and instead of jesus statues they have krishna ones.

have a great day!

give me paanch

2008-03-03T19:35:00.000+05:30

since i am on a roll with the movies...i saw sweeny todd...a warning...if you see it in india be prepared...they edit out all the blood...i know i'm mad...it makes me wonder what i've missed from other western films i've seen. beside the gore reduction it was perfect!!!

not much else is going on in india...i've had four days off, hence the film watching. all of the western friends i've made here have now all gone back to where they came my indian friends all have real jobs and xerxes is in america. i am a bit bored.

i have to get a job, like a real job. if i want to stay in india i will have to make some real money. i am totally uninterested in the job hunt. it's totally bumming me out. i guess i've been five months without and should just enjoy that i was able to survive this long...but it still stinks.

speaking of five (paanch) months...as of today, i have been here paanch months...seems like i have always been here.

jump Micheal!

2008-03-02T20:58:00.000+05:30

here's a perfect example of how India works (?)...tonight i went to see "Micheal Clayton"...i know why would i see such a dorky movie...i was bored O.K.

i get my ticket which says "Micheal Clayton" and go to my seat. the movie starts except that it is the movie "jumper", which is not even listed as playing there. there are about 30 people in the theatre, only two people got up and left. the rest of us just acted like it was the movie we wanted to see...

and P.S. jumper has no ending...the story just stops (did the black guy make it off the mountain...who dyes his hair in the cave...did the other jumper die in the power lines...why didn't vader just use his light saber to kill all the pylons)...it's weird.

she works hard...

2008-02-29T19:22:00.000+05:30

on tuesday night i did a night shoot. it was for a nothing little film...no big stars..crappy sets. i was nervous because the next day i had to do a commercial and my call time for that was 6:30am so i would be cutting it close...luckily the shoot got done at 2am. the only other thing interesting about the shoot was VaCrazy was there and was nice to me. there were three other Americans there and he was talking to them and then they started yelling at him...later they told me he was trash talking America.

next day i go to the commercial. it was for a clothing store here called pantaloons...kinda of like the Macy's of India/Mumbai. they put me in a pink shirt...a white guy in a pink shirt...whatever. the whole thing only lasted two hours and i made rs.4000 so it was great.

that night (wed.)i did the night shot again...VaCrazy managed to make another group of people mad at him...it was a boring (the shot and fight). it was supposed to go a third night but thankfully was cancelled.

thursday this guy called me about doing voice-over work for friday. he is sort of a friend trying to coordinate his own projects so i agreed. i got there and it ended up only lasting 45 mins. and i got paid rs.1500 so it was a score plus thru it i met another agent. it was a good day. i have nothing lined up for the weekend and it feels good. all i am going to do is see "Sweeney Todd" which just opened today here.

oh, i got cast in the corporate video i auditioned for on monday, it shoots next week.

i went to see "jodha and akbar" it's a big film here and it stars the guy with two thumbs on one hand...it was four hours long, i thought my head would explode...but it was a costume drama piece, beautiful to look at...but four hours jeez!

and that's my week in India all i did was work...i want some fun...although my work is fun...anyway tomorrow is saturday...there is a party...well shall see

here's a pic of 'ol three thumbs...enjoy!

the rest

2008-02-26T10:32:00.000+05:30

when last i left you i had...been working on Yavraaj, seen a bunch of bollywood stars, met a great crew and was heading off to an audition.

first a couple other things about last weeks shoot...i met Salmon Khans hairdresser, he was really very very nice...he is sort of a big deal and is about to do his own version of a reality show like "blowout"...anyway he said i should come by his shop he could cut my hair. i pointed at my blading head and he said "sorry"...it was priceless...i think we may be friends...

the last day of the shoot..literally as i was leaving the shoot i got in a fight with the Russian crazy guy....all week long he would say the really nasty things about America...when people do (always Russians) i ignore them cause...i know that if you went up to any Indian in the street and said would you rather go to America or Russia...America would win. Russians seem to have really deep rooted hatred for the states, to them the cold war is still very much alive. so all week i ignore crazy cause i just don't won't to get into it...on the last shot, they put me in a scene instead of vacrazy. he asks why, which you shouldn't do. i looked at him and said "cause America's number one" and walked away. after i walked away he apparently acted all sad like i was being a mean American. outside the crew, my friends, were trying to comfort him. it really got me that all week he was talking smack and he was getting sympathy so i laid into him.

Sunday i went to audition at SRK's offices. i don't like to go on auditions. i don't think i am good at them. they are always in some really remote place that you have to spend your own rupees to get to...but when you get called to SRK'S you go...so i did...and i wasn't as impressed as i wanted to be...and i don't think i have any chance at the part...it's for a cricket coach..

Monday i went on two more auditions, glutton for punishment that i am...the first is for this new agent i am working with, whom i haven't met yet but i really like. it was for a corporate video, which i think is beneath me, but it pays well so. I had to make up my own lines while trying to "act" as they video taped me, which was difficult. when i was leaving another guy showed up, he was "traditionally" handsome and tall two things they love, i felt defeated. then i went to a voice-over audition. i have only done one voice-over job and i hated it. every one tells me that was just that one job and that they are fun and there is no dening the money is great...so off i go to another far away suburb of mumbai. the part is for an animated "Archie's" movie they are doing here? i think?. i was to be the dad. it sucked! i am just not good at or trained in voice and so i end up feeling crappy and i don't give a good product....

today, Tuesday, i start a four day night shoot. tomorrow i shoot a commerical i was cast in...it's a big pay day so i am thrilled.

here's my new favorite song, this week, it's an old one but i's love it...and i know a couple of the dancers in the video as well...

Robert is Yavraaj

2008-02-24T10:41:00.000+05:30

I came up with about twenty different names for this blog but "Robert is Yavraaj" seemed to tell all...Yavraaj (the prince) is the name of the film I worked on the past five days and Robert was my character...it was a jammed pack week beyond belief..

First the bad news...I didn't get the reality show...I know, I know...I sooo wanted to be on it...what to do!

Back in Mumbai on Monday I got a call to go on a four day (turned into five) shoot at Flimistan studios which is really close to home so I was thrilled. I get there and the first person I see in one of my most hated frienimeis Vasily, he's an insane homeless Russian that gets jobs (somehow) and is a total freak. I have him in my phone book as VaCrazy. Sometimes his whole "insanity thing" is fun, most it's torturous. This is a typical Vasily conversation.

v: why do you live here
c: I love mumbai
v: I think thailand is better
c: than go live there
v: I think you will like thailand better
c: I have been
v: why don't you live in thailand do hate thai people
c: no I just...
v: why do you hate thai people you should live in thailand is much more green you should live in thailand, why don't you live in thailand
(craig slits his wrist - end scene)

So anyway Vasily and I find our studio and it turns out to be beautiful. The most amazing set I have worked on. I could tell straight away there was money behind this movie, which means, to me, that despite Vacrazy, it would be a good five days.

Now days later I forget all the details of the first day...I played the butler of one of the main characters whose house the set was. Whenever he had any scenes I sort had to be standing or milling in the background. normal bolly fare. My characters name was Robert; it became the name that the crew just started calling me on and off camera. It became hard to tell where Robert ended and Craig began...maybe Vasily wasn't the only crazy on set!

The director is Subhash Ghai. He started a film school here in Mumbai called "Whistling Woods International Institute for Film, Television and Media Arts". It is basically THE film school of India. It produces smart, smart graduates! His production company, which Yavraaj is part of, is called Mukta Arts.

There were three white extras...me, vacrazy and a German girl named Angela. It was my first time meeting her and she instantly became my new best friend. She is living here in Mumbai and has had many of the same experiences that I have, it was nice to talk to someone "living my life". She found Vasily crazy as well, so I had to love her.

The star of the film is Salmon Khan. Salmon is really, really famous. In 1994 he stared in "Hum Aapke Hain Koun" it was the first Bollywood film I ever saw. it came about as I was just starting to be "india crazy" adding fuel to the fire. it is a perfect film. It was really really special to know that now I would "be" in a film with Salmon...it was truly one of those "life is great" moments. tear!

The first day Salmon was not going to be there and I was sad...then...all of the sudden...out of know where Hrithik Roshan showed up. Who? Right! Hrithik is a big time actor here blah, blah, blah. Where my obsession with him lies, is in his hands...his right hand...it has two thumbs! a regular one and then a little baby one on top of that...it's so gross, I love it...every time I see his picture its like all I can see is those thumbs...so to see them, both of them, was the highlight of day one.

Because the director of the film is a big deal the entire week was a cavalcade of Bollywoods finest just stopping by the set to say hi...Sanjay Dutt, Ranbar Kapoor, Arshad Warsi, Irfaan Khan, just to name a few...I know those names mean nothing to most of you but in this new life I am living they are important so seeing them was fun.

The production crew: if you work on a production more than one day you are bound to meet one, two at the most, crews members that are awesome you can really "bond" with. This production had about 40. I have never been around such a friendly, warm, and FUN bunch of people. Even thought I was excited to see all the stars...the crew became...I kinda want to say "family"...but that sounds cheesy...but it totally fits. I miss them already.

So I just got a call to go audition at Shah Rukh Khan office...(YES!) so I gots to go I’ll fill in the rest later…you don’t keep King Khan waiting.

reality whore...who me?

2008-02-19T12:04:00.000+05:30

So I loves a good reality show....and more than a good reality show, I loves me a bad one. But NOBODY loves reality TV more than India. Every night of the week there are tons on TV. They especially love singing competitions.

Last night the roomie that won't leave (he promises on the 21st) said that he gave my photos to a producer of a new reality show. What? It’s a dance competition. What? What? They match 9 regular folks with a Bollywood star (which am I?) they practice for three days and then they dance and someone gets voted off. Just like dancing with the stars. So I may be on it. They want a white guy but it still to early to tell. I am already practicing my winning speeches. Sameer says if I am on it, I will "become much famous". The best put I would get paid to hang out with a real Bollywood star...fingers crossed!!!

I am working the next four days which is nice cause I spent more than I wanted to in Nepal. It’s a bit like Target, you shop around and spend $5.oo here, $2.00 there and at the end of the day, you are broke. The studio is very near my house and I think it's a dance scene (they must have heard that I am a dancer now).

Anyway that's my life today!

p.s. i tried to send jessica and mom e-mails today and they wouldn't go...i got your e-mails and will respond later!

like a bad headache...Nokia!

2008-02-18T17:04:00.000+05:30

I am back...in Mumbai!

I brought home a bit of a cold so this won't be long because I want to nap. The journey home was largely uneventful. The Maoist blocked the road my bus had to take from Katmandu so we had to travel an extra six hours to go around them. Which wasn't so bad cause sitting all around me were 8 monks. I was so trying to be there friend and they were so trying to avoid me. Which made me try harder...they won.

Back in Mumbai it's warm and I showered.

Oh, one cool thing. I ended up having to stay at a hotel half way home because I couldn’t get a train ticket Friday. While at the hotel, I saw a Nokia commercial I am in. It's was one of those "blink and you'll miss me" moments but, anyway it's with SRK and it is below!!!

I am at 34 seconds in, walking out of a bakery with a bag in the background...don't blink!!
Enjoy, I think it's my best work yet ha ha!

V-day

2008-02-13T16:07:00.000+05:30

So here it is the eve of yet another Valentines Day to be spent alone...the difference this year is that I AM in love...with me!!! This year I feel better about myself, who I am, and the things that I am capable of more than I have in a longa time. Yeah me!! So while alone, I WILL be with the one I love.

But the V I am most excited about this Valentines is the Visa that I will pick up tomorrow letting me return home....home to Mumbai. In just over four months it HAS become home to me... I look forward to getting back, back to life. However, I don't look forward to the intensive job search that I have realized I have to do when I get there. Despite what most Indians think, just cause I am an American that doesn’t make me Donald Trump. But job worries are next week...

I made a Nepali friend. He sells Pashmina sweaters and I visit his shop daily. We drink tea and talk about our countries. He is hilarious and hates everybody. Last night we went to dinner, when we were parting he said "be careful of the glue sniffers". I laughed, not really understanding...his English is kinda bad. No sooner had I walked twenty feet away a gang of about 15 little kids (6-13 years old) came from nowhere and everywhere asking, nay, demanding money...each one more strung out than the next and each one dirtier than the next. Most, fortunately, were too busy holding plastic bags to their little faces (sniffing glue) to be bothered with money. Just as I was about to get scared, sweater guy came and chased them away...he said "don't worry, they won't kill you". Thanks?
Nepal is currently in political strife. The Maoist are trying to take over the government and you can feel the tension on the street. there are daily marches/rallies through town; it always feels like the city is step from civil war. It is sort of scary but exciting. The elections on April 10th will change this country forever. Time magazine has a cover story on the situation that sort of makes you feel for the Maoist. My sweater friend tells a different story. They come to his parents house and demand food and money threaten to bomb the house them if they don't provide.

So hopefully next time I blog it will be from Mumbai. The journey home proves to be blog worthy as the route seems a bit longer home as if it could get longer…

Peace out and congratulations to winehouse

better in the 00977.

2008-02-11T16:42:00.000+05:30

I am feeling better...I was crabby last night, I guess I just needed to vent cause now it's better.

I went to the "monkey" temple yesterday...a beautiful stupa (Buddhist temple) that is home to about 200 monkeys. I am fascinated by monkeys...I have always wanted a helper monkey (Google it). These monkeys were kind of scary. 200 hundred of any kind of wild animal is scary. They move really, really fast and are all around you. I had been to this temple before. To get to the top of the mountain where the stupa is, you climb stairs, about 4000 of them. Lore has it that if you reach the top without stopping you will reach enlightenment in this birth cycle or lifetime. When I was 24 I did it...there was still hope of saving me. At 38 all hope is gone, I stopped twice.

Today I went to see about going to Mt. Everest. I don't want to hike it, obviously, but I thought it would be cool to go to it. Last time I was here I climbed a little mountain, more of a hill, where you could get to the top and look across a valley and see Everest. This time I wanted to be closer.
I went to an agent, told him I just wanted to see it and he said...

Agent: "ok you can go, do you have a tent or will you rent one and how about gear"
Craig: "I didn't want to stay the night but isn't there a hotel to stay at there"
Agent: "yeah, it's an eight day hike to get to base camp at the bottom of Everest"
Craig falls into laughter.

Could you see me hiking for eight days? I wouldn't hike eight days to a hello kitty convention where bjork is performing much less to the bottom of a snow covered mountain!!
He then tells me that there is a plane that will take people on 45 minute sky tours around the mountain. I’ve seen the film "Alive", forget that. So I won't see Everest.

I got two tee-shirts made here. They do hand embroidery and will put anything you want on a shirt. I am in heaven. I got "I keep it reals in the 065" and “I drop rupees by the core"...065 is my post code, rupees is the name of the money I use, a core is like a million rupees.

Nepal uses the rupee too but a different one than India. When you get your change back at a shop or restaurant they will combine types of money you get back...ie you'll get some US dollars, some india rupees, and some nepal rupees...it's werid.

so Nepal is beautiful...if you like nature, great food, and nice people this is the place for you...it is nearly perfect (cold). the people here are so nice, they say hello and smile. the locals are really attractive as well, half Asian half Indian, a great combo. the girls are really shy but somehow seductive and the guys are really into rap and are all thugged out. India try’s to be hip, but Nepal gets it.

I also went to Kumari house which is where the keep this little girl they pick as a child to be a princess. she has to leave her family a live in this temple. she is worshipped and holds court doing rituals. she stays until she "bleeds", not necessarily her period, just bleeds. it could be from a cut or scratch. they think that shows she is not divine but merely human. then she is removed and they pick a new one.

alright that's Nepal today...live it!!

getting here: part 2; Ka-Ka-Ka-Kathmandu

2008-02-10T20:18:00.000+05:30

So when last I left you I had been traveling 50 hours;
and still not in Katmandu.
I had taken:
One local train
One cycle rickshaw
One long distance train
One jeep
And 2 auto rickshaws.

So I am on the bus at the Nepal boarder. Enter Paul, my seat mate and new best friend (for the next 13 hours). A British kid traveling in India for the past 3 months on his way to the Kat to meet a friend. He hadn’t had the best time in India. It was so nice after the past few days when conversation was broken English, "I go" "you sit" to talk freely with an English speaker. The bus was cold, uncomfortable, slow and it was kinda scary going through undeveloped mountains roads. Once in the Kat it just sort dropped us and we didn't know where we were. Paul had pre-booked a hotel I had the name of two different hotels so we got a cab with some weird Jewish kid and headed for the tourist district. It was 4am. Once in the area, the Jewish kid left for some Jewish hotel. There we were on the street walking and walking, looking for a hotel we couldn't find. We both had our second winds so it was kinda fun. We finally found his hotel and I checked in as well. It was a bit more than I wanted to spend but it was 5am...

So it's Thursday...I got up earlyish considering I went to sleep at 6am. I wanted to see the town, get food and warm clothes. They sell these great yak wool sweaters I always remembered how great they were. Unfortunately my opinion of them has changed in 14 years; I didn't/don't like them. Anyway I wanted to find a cheaper hotel so I went just looking round. I couldn't do passport/visa stuff because the embassy was closed Thursday for some holiday.

By walking around I found a hotel I had stayed in last time. It was cheaper I told them I’d come on Friday. Spent that first day just trying to get "the lay the land". I also got visa photos taken, terrible visa photos.

Friday got up early to go to embassy. You have to go early cause there is a long line. People start lining up at 4 am I had heard. I took a risk and left at 6:30. it turned out fine. To get a visa you fill out a form which they fax to Washington DC to see if you are a wanted criminal. You go back in couple days (I go Thursday 14th) and turn in another form in the morning, then back at 4:30 to pick up your visa.

After the embassy I went and checked in the new/old hotel. When I first went in the room I thought, "14 years has been hard on you old girl" I just dropped my bags in the room and headed out. I came back at round 2 and was sitting in the room thinking I don't want to stay here, it was a shit hole. So I went to find a new hotel and plan my escape. I found one, went back to my hotel and told them I didn’t like it and was leaving...they tried to make me pay for the room. I didn't.

So that means that basically I am "stuck" in Nepal until Thursday. Which I know sounds crappy to say stuck but...it's cold and sort of miserable or I am miserable here. The power is always out so after 5pm it's dark and all you can do is sit in your hotel room in the dark and freeze. Or go to the internet cafe that has a generator and blog. I am bored and did I mention cold. So I am just walking around during the day and eating. I should explain all this so much better but right now I am at the height of my crabbiness I need to chill out and blog later.

gettin here: part one

2008-02-09T20:34:00.000+05:30

The journey here...I left my house at 7pm on Monday, 4th Feb. I was not really sure how i was getting to the train station. In Mumbai you have many travel choices, all falling along the scale of expensive to cheap. I always want to say "fuck it" and go expensive, but then I remember "I choose this life I have to live it" and go cheap. I took a auto-rickshaw to the local train. Local train to Santa Cruz station then another rik to the long distance train station. The local train was unusually not crowded, which I took to be a good omen, normally it is impossible. The rik to the long distance train however took forever, one and half hours. I was nervous my train was to embark at 10p and it was 9:30 when I arrived. At the end the driver asked for more money, I just laughed and walked away. I had never been to this station before but was able to find my train easily. on the platform you have to wait under these signs that are labeled according to which train car you are booked in. under my car sign was a midget Muslim family...I though I had died and gone to heaven...if only one of those Mexican wolf guys had been there I might have spontaneously combusted. Sadly they moved to a different car when we were told to board. Tear. Unfortunatly my compartment mates where not as interesting. They sort of ignored my existence for about the first 20 minutes. A conversation started between the guys there and they kept pointing at me and speaking to me in Hindi, they wanted something. I called my Indian friend xerxes (the date) and he figured out they wanted me to switch cars so a family could travel together. Since i wasn’t enamored my with the folks in my car I was fine with the shift. I went to the other car. It had the warmth of a morgue. There were, as best as I could count, seventy five thousand crying babies and just as many old women in burqas. I went back to my car and announced to nobody imparticular "fuck that" and retook my original seat.

Each individual car is divided into 9 areas for seating/sleeping. Within those 9 areas is place for 8 fold out beds and eight passengers. In true Indian style my area had 12 passengers. While I slept at night a guy sat on the edge of my bed...all night. When I bought my ticket I requested upper berth...I asked repeatedly "is this top berth?" "I have to have top berth!"..."yes!" "yes!" "yes!" I was told...I had bottom berth. Also known as "the suckiest berth". You have to wait for everyone to decide to sleep because the shared seat becomes your bed. Around 12:30 everyone went to sleep. So me, the guy at my feet, and my 12 new best friends all turned in.

It got cold at night, everyone was freezing, I didn't think it was bad. We got up at 6am. They were still not really interacting with me...language was a major problem, nobody spoke English. I took breakfast, then a nap, then lunch, then the boredom set in...1 hour...2 hours...they crawled by. I couldn’t really read because the train is so noisy with people talking and hawkers selling everything under the sun up and down the aisle. I had an idea...I pulled out my notebook, numbered the page one to twenty and asked the one guy that knew some English to teach me to count in Hindi. It turned out to be just the ice breaker we needed...we all became fast friends.

The rest of the trip was not too bad for being 35 hours long. A guy in the next birth spoke English. He became our translator. They all asked about sex in America. It’s a topic that every Indian man asks about. They have this idea that you can just have sex with any girl you want and anywhere you want. It’s really crazy and sort of upsetting the screwed up views some have about the US. At around noon on Wednesday we arrived at Gorakhpur, where I would catch a bus to the boarder of India and Nepal. It was strange how sad I felt when leaving the guys from the train. On some level we had actually become friends. I also was aware that my sadness came from the knowledge that I was not just leaveing these new friends but my beloved India as well.

In town I was told I would have to wait for 2 hours to get a local bus boarder. Then I was approached by this guy that took people in his "hummer like" jump for rs.100. I jumped in a truck built for six with ten other people and headed for the boarder. Two and half cramped hours later I was in Sunuli. the town is nothing but the boarder crossing between countries. Crossing the boarder was strange. First the jeep drops you just far enough from the boarder that you have to take one of the waiting cycle-rickshaws. Then they drop you in front of the "disembarking" customs office, which is no more than a store front with a desk. With passport stamped as “exiting India” you walk down this busy road to the boarder. There is no signage to tell you where to go or anything, it's really confusing. There are people everywhere, pushing, shoving and you’ve got baggage to boot, not fun. I asked a police man and he pointed across the street and turned his back. I found the visa/customs office and my visa was issued with no fuss or muss. Back on the street you just keep walking until you guess your now in Nepal. I turned and gave India one final look and set about booking a bus to Katmandu.

Just before I boarded my bus a guy putting luggage on top of the bus fell off and lay on the ground in front of the bus with blood pouring from his head. I went around to the other side and got on; people grabbed his legs and dragged him away.

Alright so that's part one...internet place is closing, its 10:30pm and this is the night of Nepal’s New Year...the year of the rat!!!

NEPAL

2008-02-07T15:30:00.002+05:30

after a long, long, long, long, long, long, long, journey from mumbai i have arrived...i will give you the low down later...(my keyboard does not have the keys labeled and i am having to rely on my memory, yikes)...i go to see about my visa tomorrow and i also check into the same hotel i staied in 14 years ago...cool. oh and ot's cold here...like almost snowing cold...and there is no hot water...i thinka i stinka, cause i no showera. but its beautifil and the food is amazing and cheap...it's 3pm and i have eaten 3 times and on my way for a 4th.

ok take care...show love!!!

speaking of love...there was a really good second date! ha ha!

ticket and stuff

2008-02-02T12:25:00.000+05:30

My ticket is bought and i am, Monday at 10pm, heading for the green, green mountains of Nepal. Tuesday when i went to inquire about my ticket, i asked if i need to show my passport, which i had on me, and the lady said no. Thursday when i went to buy the ticket she said i needed my passport. That’s sort of India in a nut shell you never know what you going to get at any moment. that works for good stuff as well...i was late for an appointment sitting on the train and this Indian came over and said "not sure if you know this but, this train terminates at the next station, there you have to transfer for “Churchgate" he saved me about an hours worth of travel time...but you know it is hard to live here and that’s part of the excitement...the excitement of any large city...Philly was hard sometimes too.

As i was walking away from the ticket counter i got a call a bout a job that would last for a month of shooting at rs.800 per day...and it starts the day i leave for Nepal...damm! Then another call from this agent, Paras, who i have been trying to butter up because he gets good, high paying jobs. He had a job for me on the 11th...a modeling job i might add...and i can't take that either…Nepal better be awesome!!!

I found out you can't view ABC TV on-line out side of the US so no "Lost" for me.
I got this book on Mumbai, a street by street map; i don't know i have lived without it. My fake diesel bag is dying, that's what you get why you buy bags for $3.00 on the street. I found this place that sells wicker furniture and i actually like the stuff and it’s affordable. While not a big wicker fan, wicker seems to suit India somehow.
I also found how to get a water cooler sent to my house...i have been hunting this for 2 months. Turns out it is much cheaper than i thought.

That’s it for now...enjoy!

Oh crap i almost forgot...the date went really well...there just may be a second one

Rambo 4 is a homophobic piece of shit.

2008-01-31T11:20:00.000+05:30

monday i went for a shot on this film called taveer, which means photograph, and i was again a business man. alas, never cast as male model. i was really excited for two reasons:
1. the star of the film is Ashok Kumaar. he is the highest paid actor in bollywood right now. he was really nice and didn't run off to his trailer in-between takes. he walks by me in a scene, which means i won't end up on the cutting room floor (hopefully)
2. the director and crew of the film also worked on "bombay to bangkok" which i just saw so i was able to tell them i loved it, which was a white lie, but the music is good and the lead actor (Shreyas Talpade) was great! anyway....
it was supposed to be a two day shoot but they finished in one.

tuesday i went to figure out my travel arrangements for Nepal...(i know i still haven't left yet?). i really wanted to fly, so i went and checked ticket prices...rs.16000. then i checked the train...rs.450. my train leaves on monday.

wednesday i had a shot for this film called "fashion". i was excited to work on this film as well. it has been getting a bit of press cause it features a "positive gay character". i got to the set eager to see the character. the shoot was a fancy runway show, we were all in suits and had to act posh...so then i see this one guy in a bright pink shirt and earrings...so much for the "positive gay character". it is a big deal the last film with gays (Deepta Mehta's 1996 film "fire") was banned otright so this is progress(?). anyway it was fun and i am glad to be part of it however small my part is.

today (thursday) i am going to buy my train ticket (tuesday i was just "gathering information") and eat at my favorite restaurant and try to watch "lost" online at the internet cafe and then buy a sweater.

friday i have a date...wha..wha..WHAT! yes, i have a date. i am sure it will end in boredom and betrayal like all the rest...sooo whatever!

saturday i have a party to go to.

sunday the roommate is moving out yes!

monday is nepal!

so there you have it kids...i will blog again soon...
take care of your friends, they are important!
that reminds me i am having trouble finding padded envelopes which i need to send gifts but the search continues i haven't forgotten you all...

a song from bombay to bangkok...

all i want to do is see Rambo 4

2008-01-27T16:17:00.000+05:30

the past four nights i have been on a night shot for a film called "money hai, honey hai". i have no idea what that means. the shoot started every night around 6pm and went until 6am, i was paid $25.00 per night (that is considered good pay). the shoot was relatively uneventful. the scene was a fashion show spoof. the models wore really crazy outfits. i was in the audience, the camera did a close up of me so maybe I'll be in the film, maybe not, luckily i get paid either way.

the first night: being winter in Mumbai, at night it gets cold, really cold. that first night everyone froze. we had not been told it would all be shot outdoors. i just had on a tee-shirt, that sucked. we were shooting at 'film city' which is where a majority of the studio's are. it's this massive mountain on the edges of the city and everywhere you go films and TV show are being shot, it is really exciting there. after the shoot finished (6am) we were all to board a bus that would carry us from the top of the mountain to the train station. the bus was really crowded the bus driver refused to go, so everyone started fighting with him. the driver was punched a mirror was pulled off the bus and the air was let out of his tyres (in India, tire is spelt with a "y"). it went from calm to crazy in two seconds. we had to catch riks to the station.

second night: when i got to film city (the bottom of the mountain) the police where there to question everyone. i played dumb "all Indians look the same to me, i don't know who did what". i didn't want to tell him two people i know where the jerks that punched the driver and let the air out. they got a random guy on a motorcycle to drive me up mountain to the set. when i swung my leg to get on the bike i kicked the police man in the ding dong, he sort of stumbled, the bike took off and all i could do was yell "sorry!".

the next two nights there were no fights and no ding dong kicking. the shoot was only to run two nights and i was happy with that. when they announced a third night, i felt trapped. i had a really nice Saturday planned in my head, which the highlight of was to see Rambo 4. normally the idea of a Rambo film wouldn't be a joyous event for me but...

the first time i was in India back in 1994. Rambo: First Blood Part 2 had just opened, a full 10 years after its US release date. i think the idea that Rambo 4 is opening here the same time as it opens in the US is a great indicator of the changes that India has gone through in the last 15 years. i also love that its number four and i am celebrating my fourth month here. i love that it opened on India's republic day. it's the day they got the British out. [republic day is also a dry day, no alcohol can be sold in India.]

so when they told me that there would be a third night i just keep thinking "all i want to do is see Rambo 4". they hold your pay until the end of the shoot, you have to keep coming back. after the third night they called for a fourth. after four days of being awake all night and sleeping just a little during the day my body is reminding me that i am not 21 anymore, but i have a pocket full of cash and tonight i will see Rambo 4!

Monday and Tuesday i have a two day shoot for my agent, Amjad, that i just fired last week? confusing i know. i fired my agent cause he hasn't sent me on a job in two months, all my work has come from other sources, so i told him not to call me anymore. he is in the bad habit of booking me then replacing me with someone cheaper (it's nice to know i am not the cheapest guy in town). anyway so now he sending me on a two day film shoot as an apology. Wednesday i book my train ticket and leave for Nepal (finally). the room mate is moving out on Wednesday as well (i think/hope).

back: part two...the iranian invasion

2008-01-21T21:14:00.000+05:30

the Iranians arrive and a large group of us are sitting around a grouping of tables. they start going around the table asking where everyone is from. they get to me, i swallow "America" there is silence...one Iranian shouts acroos the tables "hey America, will you tell your president to fuck our president" i pick my mobile off the table and fake dial, like i do, "hey bush will you fuck Irans president" i hold the phone from my ear "bush says OK...hows next Thursday"...they scream with laughter and i become loved by all.

the shoot was pretty uneventful..we were soldiers and just sort of had to march around in the background, kinda boring. i kept thinking in America they would digitally put us in there. we worked for two days then they said we were done...then said we weren't and then back and forth. i was really tried of the Mumbai freaks and just wanted to go home...after three days of not working...all spent at the beach...we were called to work again. we shot during the day, then they said they need some folks for a night shoot so i did that too...for the day part we were paid rs.1200 and for the night rs.800...john told me we only got rs.500 for the night part but everyone else said that we got rs.800 so when i asked he got really mad we got in a small fight and he lost my friendship over rs.300...which i think is us 7.00. Indians are difficult to trust, they have a different meaning of the word but i always thought he was a bit different...but you know what they say "different is just a fancy word for exactly the same".

the best part of the trip beside the postcard perfect scenery was meeting the Iranians, imparticular three. Farshid, Mohammed #2 (there were seven Mohammeds), and Wahid. they were three of the nicest people and we became instant friends. at the end of March i am going to pune to visit them (except Wahid who is leaving to go back to Iran this week:(! ). they made the trip for me. it was really great to talk to them about politics, 911, culture, Jews, and arranged marriages in a really open and honest way. these are the people my president says i should hate? listening to us describe our presidents actually sounded oddly the same...not following the peoples will, creating war out of nothing, acting unilaterally, etc...they are counting downs their president days left in office the same way we are.

so in the end i still made money, lost a friend made three better ones. my towel died (it picked up some weird smell) again i got a new better one and everything is right again.

back in mumbai, my apartment was OK. it was the first time the roomie was home alone, i was a bit nervous. he is moving out next week and it is time...i will have to write about his marriage plans...it funny...that will be later...this week i was going to go to Nepal but after the trip south i just need some time before i head out again...i start a five day shoot tomorrow...i think i will leave for Nepal Feb 1.

oh and i never made it to Joyce...i left late trains were crazy and anyway...but i told this man i was going there and he paid for my cab and said' i am Christan too" oh and on the train an old man grabbed at my crotch and i punched him in the stomach...was that too brief to write at the end sorry it wasn't really funny it felt gross. i guess it was funny i punched him i was just really mad.

and here is my song of the week, it is from the 1998 film "Dil Se" staring SRK, it still plays everyday at this theatre downtown its been running since 1998: enjoy

back

2008-01-18T12:12:00.000+05:30

hello gang i am back...and it feels great!!

i went down south to Karele for a film shoot...it was sort of a nightmare and yet really fun as well...here be the details....

i got called at 12:30 last Tuesday to say i had to be on a bus in half an hour...i ran home threw some stuff in a bag and was off to meet the group from mumbai that i would be going down with...there were six of us...a collection of total freaks...

freak one: amit...he is Indian but gets jobs as a foreigner cause his dad is white and he is 6'5" which is giant compared to Indian men...he thinks he is the coolest thing living and lives just on the fence between totally annoying and funny...he is really cheap, after paying a bill at a restaurant if there is money left after everyone collectively pays he's the guy that pockets the change.

freak two: joson...he is an albino from south Africa...he mumbles and i can't understand anything he says...except one time he got mad and said "i am not a boy, i am a man" he sounded like a line from some nelson Madella documentary...he traveled really lite...he brought nothing..no toothbrush, no change of under ware, no nothing...we shared a room and he used my razor and then asked where the toothbrush was...i said " there is no the toothbrush it's my toothbrush"...he bought one of his own two days later.

freak three: john...again Indian guy that gets jobs as a foreigner...john is my friend and always gets me work, he speaks really good English, he was the one that got this shoot put together...he was the only one in the group i liked...unfortunately our friendship won't ever be the same after this trip...read on for that...

freak four: Alex...he's Russian...i don't meet many Russians that i like...they seem to have unresolved issues with Americans...anyway Alex once hit my friend Amaan so i really don't like him...two hours into the trip i told him if he ever touched Amaan again i would kill him...TRAVEL NOTE if are ever going to spend a week with a Russian don't tell them the first day you are going to kill them.

freak five: Craig....well, you all know what an ass he can be!

freak six: rick...rick is half Indian, half Australian. i don't believe the Australian bit at all...rick has vigilito (the Micheal Jackson disease). i think he makes up the Australian bit to cover up the fact that he's just an Indian with a skin disease...once this Australian guy was asking rick about Australia, rick couldn't answer. the guy was like are you sure you've been there??? but then again rick is stupid so maybe he has and is just too stupid to remember anything....rick likes to try and act like he is really worldly and smart but it takes two seconds to figure out he's just stupid. his voice sounds like a girl.

so there we were six freaks from the big city on a bus heading south...the bus took 26 hours...yes 26, then we had to get a train that was another three hours...we found our hotel, showered, then went for beers...that night just as we were about to sleep they switched out hotel we had to sneak out of the hotel and run to another.

Karele is the name of the region, the town we were in was called theiterry...a sleepy little town where all the restaurants close at 10:00, if you are hungry after ten, no food for you. the southern coast is really tropical, beautiful, and full of amazing beaches...it reminded me of Sri Lanka...and it was hot, really hot...i know you folks in the north east of America won't want to hear this, but, i went to the beach quit a bit this past week and i have a hard core tan right now. anyway the town is off the beaten track and they don't get many tourist there and they went crazy over us...it felt like we were celebrities...every time we went in a shop people would say are you the actors from Mumbai....the whole town was talking. speaking of talking the local language is Malayalam and to hear it is hilarious i kept thinking this has got to be a joke this can't be a real language...i wish i could do my imitation of it for you..anyway it's funny!

the next day we went to the shoot...it is a period war drama set in the 1920's staring Mamoty. He's the most famous Malayalam (southern) actor there is...he is fat, has stringy hair and people down there worship him...he was nice to us but i didn't see the attraction to him...

anyway the first morning of the shoot as we were waiting for our costumes two buses full of 60 Iranians pull up, they are to be our troops. let me tell you, there is nothing like 60 Iranians to make you feel totally and completely American!

there is a city in India called pune (pronounced pun-A), it is famous for three things
1. it is where the sex cult Osha (www.oshoworld.com)is. people are stupid freaks!!
2. it is where the bradgalina film "a mighty heart" was shot.
3. it has over 15,000 Iranians enrolled in universities there.

so here we were six freaks, one of which is American and sixty Iranians...and the hilarity ensues...but that will have to wait until tomorrow...

i need to get my hair cut, cuase i need to look sharp for tonight i am going to see Joyce Meyers, a religious nut from American that i kinda love (www.joycemeyer.org) it should be funny..anyway the rest of my trip...tomorrow!

leave me alone!

2008-01-08T12:49:00.000+05:30

first a note to my stalker!

i come to india and next thing you know, your here. on thursday i am hanging out at the Taj Hotel, who books a room there on friday? Listen, Madonna, i know that you are desperate to be my friend but you've got to leave me alone!

now back to our regularly schuduled blog...

looks like after much back and forth (canceling and the reschudling) the shoot i had been booked for is back on. i am to leave today...which is awesome, but means that i won't be bloggin' for a few days...what will you do on the internet without me???

ok gotta run...TTYL

wel-come, a night in the life of...

2008-01-04T14:02:00.000+05:30

i deleted my last post because when re-reading it i realized it could be seen as bitter and that's not at all how i meant it. it being the first blog of the new year i wanted no debate...
when i become a better writer maybe i will revisit the subject of my love-life but then probably not...

i be happy and i am in a really good place...yada yada yada...

so on with the year and the blog! wel-come!

i worked yesterday..and it felt good. it was at this place called madh island which is sort of near where i live yet it took me for ever to find cause i had partial directions...but i arrived and it was a night shoot...which i hate to do but i need to work...it's funny cause every time i do a night shoot i say it's my last time...then...when they come round it always when i am feeling broke...how do night shoots know when i am broke...ummm

the scene was an outdoor party for this show called mikaa, which i have been on before, but this time i was not a business man...i was a party goer. i had fun, there were three other western people there who were all fun and i knew most of the Indians there so it was good. my agent has a new assistant, which is scandalous cause i am the first to know, not even the roomie knows (he left for a shoot this morning before i could gossip)...anyway the kid is really nice, tries to act really cool, fucking loves America, just thinks i am crazy for being here, he also has the biggest nose i have ever seen in my life...just being in the room with it made me want to kill puppies.
the shoot...there is some on-screen drama that happens at the party while we all dance and laugh in the background...then as the two main characters are about to kiss and make-up it starts to rain and every one has to run inside...so that bit was funny cause they had these huge hoses and made it rain, we all got pretty wet. Remember it's winter here, so it was cold but still kinda fun...then the shoot wrapped early, 2am, which meant we were going to have to wait until 4am for the trains to start running. we walked down this deserted road looking for an auto-rickshaw to take us to the station, it was sort of creepy. luckily one of the production vans came by and gave us a lift...it wasn't really a van it was a flat bed truck with a cover and twenty Indians in it...20 Indians that were smoking in the same flat ed they were carrying gas canisters in. it was crowded, we got tossed around on the bumpy back roads, one girl cut her knee. it was a one of those great Indian out-of-the-blue hilarious moments. they dropped me really near my house so that was cool i didn't have to wait at the station after all...i tried to get a auto-Rik but the driver wanted to charge me rs.50 for a rs.15 trip. i decided to walk...as i was walking i got attacked by a pack of 5-6 wild dogs and had to climb a fence to escape...dogs here have rabies...i didn't get close to being bit or anything but it was scary...so i threw rocks at them until they ran away, then i ran away...back to the rickshaw, he only charged me rs.15 and i was home.

and that was a night in my life. nutty.
i have to go back tonight to shoot the rest of the scene.

(p.s. when indians spell out welcome they do it like this...wel-come!)

brand new by tomorrow

2007-12-30T14:17:00.000+05:30

so ends another year. alas, what a crazy one it has been.

and that's all I'm saying about that...no deep thoughts, no words about living your dreams, no words about those motherf@#kers that killed Benazir Bhutto...just this year...lets all be happy!!

so Bollywood....well lately i have been thinking that it is time to leave Bollywood behind...December has been a rough month..firstly tourist are here so my agents can get them for roles at half the price i get so the work has been sparse and i have an apartment now and need things...which cost money...then, when i have worked, it hasn't been as fun...so i am thinking about a "real" job...before coming here ,i thought it would be fun to work at a call center, not for long mind you, but a month or two. it's such a hot button topic in the states and i would like to see what is means this end...so i may do that...and there are other things i can do...we shall see...

on 5 Jan i leave for a shoot in the south of India a place called Karela, it's a four day shoot and i think it may be my "swan song"...a nice way to say goodbye i think!
Then when i get back i have to head out to Nepal to renew my visa...which thanks to those fuckers who killed Bhutto it may be a longer process cause things, boarders, are tightening right now...but that's a month away so it should be better. i am really excited to go to Nepal. i was there before and loved it. it will be cold which will be nice.

for New Years there are a ton of parties...without Christmas they put all of there energies into New Years and this year bars can stay open until 5am instead of shutting at the usual 1:30am..it a big deal here, people are freaking out about it...that will be fun.

so that's India today...w!l i got your post card, thank you v v much!
so ya'll take care this holiday...don't drink and drive...THIS YEAR WE ALL BECOME RICH!!!!

good news vs. bad news

2007-12-25T12:26:00.000+05:30

First MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

for Christmas i received a text informing me that i didn't get a part i auditioned for, bad news...good news, i didn't get it cause i look "too young"! ha!

Last year at this time i was in a really bad space...the realization of leaving Philadelphia was smacking me in the face daily. also realized that because of the fighting i would not be able to move to Sri Lanka. i was LOST, everything was bad. i was the most unhappy i had ever been...blah blah blah...

cut to one year later and basically most every dream I've ever had has come true...i am the happiest i have ever been...i am an actor in India for Christs sakes...my life rocks...so there is a Christmas lesson...always remember the immortal words of Ruth Cluenet "it is always darkest before the dawn"...

live your dreams kids!!!

do they know it's christmas...

2007-12-22T12:32:00.000+05:30

what once was a catchy line from a pop song is now my life...i have been a little bit down about Christmas or rather the lack of...at first i thought yes i don't have to deal with it...all the running around spending etc. but know as the date approaches i am a little bit sad...i my be actually working on Christmas...i know right! but anyway...enough boo hooing!

i shot another TV soap the other day and i had lines in Hindi and English...i was a waiter...so between takes i am talking to the male lead and he says his name...i didn't know if he said robbie or ravi so i asked and he said "Ravi, Rape Always Virgins Immediately" Can you imagine...i wanted to puke...i said "that's gross" and he laughed...

yesterday i contacted a new agent and he may have work for me...he said "so you're a model?" i said "yes" anyway i know he gets his clients high paying jobs so...we'll see...i also found out about a shoot that is happening in the south (Kerela) is 15 days starting Jan 1 and pays rs.1000-1500 daily. i have never been down south and this would be expenses paid so i am excited for that.

otherwise not too much happening here...i checked the weather forcast and for the next month, it had the same forcast for...91 clear...i've been here almost three months and that's been the forcast for everyday...it never rains here...

hope you all have a great holiday and that Santa is good to you...i miss you all very much...enjoy life grrrrr!

AND THE WINNER IS....

2007-12-19T15:44:00.000+05:30

JESSICA!!!

NOT ONLY DID JESS WIN, SHE KICKED EVERYONES ASS!!!

so i had done a night shoot which wrapped around 4am...it was a soap where one character goes crazy and tries to kill another with a broken bottle...this all takes place at a fancy restaurant...the wait staff pulls out a rope and tries to catch the crazy lady...it was so funny (a rope!!!) and they all took it very seriously...which of course made it even funnier...so i go home at 4 and crashed. 'round 8am my phone rings and somebody wants to confirm my address...i hung up...an hour later my door bell rings and there, courtesy of one Jessica CaCa-FaFa, is an Indian man holding a gift basket full of chocolates and treats...i thought i was dreaming!!! I live in India and wouldn't know how to send somebody a gift basket but Jessica did it...and it made my week...so Jessica here's to you...the winner!! (and look for you own gift to arrive from India! but be warned i am a slow mailer)

Now because the contest was a mailing competition i decided to give a second place to the first post letter to come as well...

a month ago this guy wrote to me on myspace just asking about how life in India is etc. we did some back and forth emails and i told him to read my blog...he did...and i got his Christmas card yesterday!...so the second runner up is Jon Kelly from New York...i have never met you but the card was really special and will go down as my first piece of 'indian mail'...so thanks!!!...he too will receive a gift from India!!

so if i get more mail i will let you know...thanks to everyone for playing...and again to Jessica...i have been eating and laughing all week!!

alkeyhol kills cooties

2007-12-15T14:24:00.000+05:30

so last Sunday my landlord (parney) had a birthday party for his ten year old girl and i was invited...my roomie and i went. so we get there and i see parney's wife i say hello..then she introduces me to his OTHER wife...yes he's got two...later when i told him in America he would go to jail for that he just didn't understand.

so all the men at the party go to the roof to drink booze and talk really dirty about women...i met a lot of my neighbors it was FUN FUN FUN. sameer and i got really drunk...actually everybody got really drunk...i danced and everybody laughed...which seems to be the reaction to my dancing..grrr! anyway Indian's don't really drink, but when they do, they get stupid frat bot drunk...sameer barfed...so that night was when i really get eaten up by bugs...since then i haven't had one single bite so i think when they bit me they died from alcohol poisoning. who needs modern medicine!

oh, one more thing about the party...when you get there you are given, first thing, a slice of cake...i thought gosh my mom would love this...she only stays at parties waiting for the cake...she could eat and run. bad news is you only get that one slice.

i did another commercial with "King Khan" this week. it's for Nokia phones and i think you will be able to see me in it. there is a street scene and he walks by me in it. i am supposed to shot another commercial tomorrow...and my role in said commercial...a banker..what else!

sameer and i were having coffee this morning and a guy walked by selling cotton candy. i told sameer what it was called in America, he told me the Indian name which was really long but the best part he said it translates to "old woman's hair". tasty!

well i am off to go buy some jeans that i can't afford...i am having money issues which i will go into next time...blah blah...

still no winner in the mailing comp...and nobody has called me yet either....

9870054384 in case you forgot....

oh and i have a Christmas list if anyone cares...

i want a TV..you see i am freaking out that "lost" starts soon and well...

oh and mom, youtube.com has the trailer for the "sex and the city" movie...i can't bring myself to watch it.

i stopped counting at 42...

2007-12-11T11:31:00.000+05:30

no bitches, this isn't a blog about my age...it's about the number of bites i have...and the 42 number...that's just one arm...yeah, so it's bad...but i got some mosquito coils and they helped last night and i hope to get a sleep net today, so all will be well...but, i will most likely have to start malaria pills if i am getting bit this much...it's just really weird cause they don't itch and i don't feel them bite....at first i thought it was bed bugs which are a know problem here but everything i read about them says the bites really itch...mine don't...they look like a cross between poison ivy and flea bites...so enough about my deformities...

so i saw this dog get run over yesterday....(and now i am crying again)...like i have cried hourly ever since it happen...i think it will go down as the single worse thing i have ever seen happen...it was bad, just a really fucked up thing to witness...i just feel like i want to yell at someone for it or punch the driver or scream....and i wish it would leave my head...and now i am scaring the other people in the internet cafe with my crying...so i will abruptly change subjects!

i am working again...yesterday i shot a commercial for french TV...why it's shot in India...who knows! it's for baby wipes...the lead gal tells her boyfriend she doesn't want to have a baby...then smells these baby wipes and decides she does...the werid part is that she's pregnat so she is saying that the smell of those wipes has made her change her mind about abortion....the right wing in American should get hold of some of them wipes...i have to go back again today...it feels good to have the cash in my pocket!!!

ok i have to run...take care ya'll...i miss and love you all very,very much.

roomies

2007-12-08T12:17:00.000+05:30

tomorrow marks one week since i moved into my flat...and i love it! it small and its an old building a bit rough around the edges but i love it. the only thing i don't love are the bugs...there are a lot of bugs; ants, moths, spiders, and three geckos...the first night when the geckos arrived i was freaked cause there big, 6 inches...but last night they didn't come round and i sort of missed them. so at night the some of the bugs bite, i haven't been able to figure out which ones are the culprit...i have marks all over my arms and face...which sucks, they don't itch and i don't feel it when they bite so i guess its OK it just unsightly and now that my face is my calling card...well anyway i feel like i am on survivor.

yesterday i let my friend sameer move in for a few weeks, he is waiting for his new flat to be readied. he is already being a big help...he got tiffin service started for me...a tiffin is a metal lunch box...made up of a series of small round containers that stack on top of each other and then all lock together at the top...you purchase the tiffin, give it to the "tiffin man" and everyday he fills with hot food and delivers it your door for rs.25 (us .50 cent). since i can't cook at my place, it's great...and if you're not around one day, you just call and they won't come. so he is helpful and we are really helping each other with English/Hindi learning. which is more important out here, down in the tourist are everybody speaks English cause it's part of there lively hood here..mostly Hindi. i am sure once the few weeks are up i will probably hate him but for now it's cool.

it is winter here in mumbai, which means that it dips into the 70's and at night the low 70's...it also, like in the states, means that everybody has a cold...and i have developed some weird allergies...i live right on the edge of the 'jungle' so there are many, many trees and strange plants and something is making me snotty. there are also new animals, mainly birds i have never seen before and they make really interesting sounds it's nice.

so remember when i wrote before that i needed a bollywood break, well, watch what you wish for...i haven't worked since Wednesday last week...i miss it...and i miss the money coming in....now that i don't have to pay daily hotel bills it would be really nice to have the money stack up...and i also need some stuff for my flat...like plates and a cup would be nice...oh i started use tap water to brush my teeth...the next hurdle is to drink it sameer says it is safe but...

enjoy your day... and remember...be kind to strangers...they may have just moved to your country and feel a bit lost or overwhelmed...say hi to them!!

yeah...so i am a dork

2007-12-07T18:25:00.000+05:30

on my address...i sort of forgot something important,

INDIA

the name of the country may help...sorry kids!

thanks mom!

OH, IT'S ON!!!

2007-12-05T10:49:00.000+05:30

announcing the first ever americanmumbaiker competition!!!...now that i have an apartment you can send me mail...soooo..who ever i get the first piece of mail from will get a special gift direct from India...i am not sending out Christmas gifts cause i don't know where the GPO is in my new town yet and i would have needed to ship last week...so if you want a gift from India, here's your chance, get mailing...

Craig WINKLER - FOREIGNER
Bldg. No. 20, Flat 2053,
5th Floor, Vanrai Colony,
Goregaon (E) Mumbai
400 065

so good luck...be warned Oliver may have an advantage being on the west coast so don't delay...for now only send cards or letters, no parcels (cash accepted haha)...and the foreigner bit is important as is the capitalization of surname and the word foreigner...because i am white they will deliver direct to my door instead of at the mail box on the first floor...i am not sure why i get special treatment that's just what i was told...maybe they have seen my films....

which brings me to "Goal" i went to see it last night...you may remember this is the film i did voice overs for....well the film is terrible. the plot is under privileged soccer team comes from behind and wins the championship blah blah blah...they added some extra Indian fight racism crap in for this market...but it was sooo very cool to hear my voice on the screen...i wanted to tell people around me...they must of thought i was crazy cause i would laugh and what was on screen wasn't funny...but it was cool, totally cool.

i got a bed yesterday, well a futonesque mattress but i love it. it cost rs.600 and they threw in a pillow for free. i have a new food love it is called pava var (i think) everyone laughs when i say it. it cost rs.5, it's a fried ball of potato, peas and over goodness put on a bun with spicy and sweet chutneys...i love it..rs.5 is US 12 cents. i order two and they look at me like i am a pig.

so i also have a phone here and if i call you it is very very expensive but ya'll can call me..9870054384 you need country and city codes which i don't know but there it is...just remember there is a 10:30 time difference.

alright that's it for today...enjoy and MAIL!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

2007-12-04T11:27:00.000+05:30

a special shout out to two birthday boyz in da hizzouze.

my nephew joey turns 10 on dec 4th...i hope he got tons of star wars lego sets

and my BBF'S son, indie, turned 9 on nov. 28th...and i hope he got lots of tofu burgers and fake bacon

so happy birthday boys...tell your moms i said to spend lots of money on you today...uncle craig would want it that way!!!

there's no place like home...

2007-12-03T14:35:00.000+05:30

so i's gots me an apartment...moved in yesterday everything went smoothly...or as much as things can go smoothly...spent most of the first day cleaning the bathroom and the kitchen area (which is just a sink). there is a huge "supermarket" across from my colony (as it is called) so I went got a few things for my bachelor pad(because I am unmarried I am consently referred to as a bachelor here, I feel very 1950's)..anyway today have to get a bed...last nights sleep on the floor was not as bad as one might think but I need a bed. so far the neighbors are avoiding me...one came to my door this morning and asked for money...when I said in Hindi "no understand" (nay, samje) she just kept talking so I slowly closed the door. she went away.
Saturday night i went to a party on a boat my friend david came and he had a friend in from DC...it was really really nice to be able to talk freely...so much of the english i use has to be so broken down into basics..go, stop, here, after...i only talk in one word sentences...so it was nice to just let loose
oh and as you can see i have found a new internet cafe...the best part is its only 15rs per hour...my last place was 75rs. anway i have to go get a shower bucket...cause...I LIVE IN INDIA NOW!

FLAT!!

2007-12-01T15:59:00.000+05:30

so the papers are signed and i moved tomorrow (sunday)...i am so excieted...i may be off the web until i find a new internet cafe near my flat...i have been so freaked about this whole thing it feels good to finally be this close....so until then enjoy this video below!!!

bollywood blues

2007-11-29T13:17:00.000+05:30

this week i have been suffering from the blues...it is mostly due to the nasty, nasty cold i picked up...I've just been cocooning in my room...reading, playing sudoku.

it is also partly due to being at a crossroads with the whole bollywood thing, I've been on a couple of really boring shoots this week and it hasn't been fun...originally i said i would do bollywood until it stopped being fun. this week has not been fun...but i think i just need a break...

a bollywood break to figure out what i want to do with it...i can keep being an extra or i can really jump into "the scene" and push for parts and call agents everyday and really make a go of it...i just need to figure it all out...

i need a Colaba break. Colaba is the are where i have been staying. it is where all the tourist stay. the tourist are dirty and boring and just want to do drugs all the time and sometimes i feel as long as i am in colaba...i am a tourist..yuck! hopefully, tomorrow i will be moving in to my "flat". i've been playing phone tag with my realitor.

i also need a break from my clothes...i packed all wrong...its so unlike me to have packed wrong but i did and now i am sort of stuck with stupid clothes and wrong shoes...but once i relocate i can sort that out

so it all boils down to it's time to move on...i have been really stressed about this move...just because nothing is set in stone and i am to move tomorrow...and that freaks me out...

alright, this is boring me, complaining here, so i will tell you something good...

if you have not yet read "a thousand splendid suns" log off the internet, and run to a bookstore. it may be my new favorite book..OK my second favorite...nothing can touch "a suitable boy". this book is beautiful and complex and...just be warned it is the very definition of a tear jerker...

before i got sick this week, i went to a wedding, which was fun...i danced, the Indians laughed (ouch!) and i ate and ate and ate...more than i thought humanly possible...food has turned out to be a huge part of my day...i cant seem to get enough Indian food...i love it..i love it, love it..i love it!
the wedding was of the daughter, of the owner of my hotel, his name is "the captain". he is blind and his wife is a total bitch. i see the staff hide from her all the time...they told me she only comes to the hotel, where the captain and staff live, "an hour everyday to collect money and bark". the staff is made up of 5-6 young guys (15-20) they live at the hotel, at night they sleep on the floor of the lobby...they are really nice, but hardly speak a word of english..i think its a good job for them...i just wish they were better at toilet cleaning!

ok so thats india today i am feeling better today (health wise) and i would rather be down in bollywood than up anywhere else so don't fret (mom)...life is still awesome!

Goal

2007-11-23T20:23:00.002+05:30

so i put down the deposit on my flat today!!! so i will be REALLY living in mumbai...and it is freaking me out...a little...it's a big step and means that i will be here 11 more months...yikes! so i move in next friday...the guys that currently live there are being kicked out to make way for the foreigner!

the film goal released today, it is the first film that i had anything to do with...it is my bad British voice-over...but i had already planned to see Jab We Met (when we met) it stars shihid kapur, who i totally have a man crush on. it was really really good...it was fun to see him in a film cause i've been working on his new film so much and i know him that way it was nice to remember he is actually a star.

i finished reading shantaram...it's a great read all about the dark under belly of mumbai...it was heavy in weight (900 pgs) and in thought so i am following that with the TRASHY bio of katie price, JORDAN...it awful and i love it!

heres the trailer for goal and a song from Jab We Met

so anyway hope your holiday was fun...and remember to keep those comments coming!!

Thank You...India

2007-11-22T19:26:00.000+05:30

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE...i miss you all and wish you the best this holiday season...please eat tons of pumkin pie for me!!!

ham and eggs

2007-11-15T20:26:00.000+05:30

so when last i wrote i was going to Tuesday for an a commercial audition...turns out it was for a film. a film i had done extra worked on...its called lucky charm (working title) anyway so i went for the audition, the part was of "the banker" there were three other whites there...i looked the most like a banker...i got the part!

when i worked on the film before i became really friendly with the crew...it was a five day shot i was on of the few extras there everyday so they got to know me (and sometimes i am nice to people and they like me). i am sure this helped me get the part...so being nice pays off...yuck...now I've got to re-think my life (darn)

i had three lines (i had one more which they cut the day of the shoot, darn!)...

banker: mr raj malhotlra?
banker: we just need your signature on these forms...here, here and one here.
banker: and here is your check...thank you very much!

raj malhotltra is being played by shihid kapur who is the hottest actor going right now...and super cute. i got fitted for a costume, a suit and was told to return at 8 am

after the audition i went to look at some apartments with my friend sameer...some were gross, some were nice...NONE had water 24 hours a day! yeah i know right, the deal here is that for 2-3 hours a day they turn on the water main and you fill a 50 gallon tank in the apartment and use that water during the day...not at home during that time? you have to save some from the day before...so that kinda threw me for a loop...basically water is an amenity and if you want it 24 hours a day you have to pay...really pay

Later that night they called to push the shoot back a day...

on Wednesday i went to see "om shanti om" the new king khan film. i knew serveral people in it. it was exciting. there was one scene where they pull up in front of a film studio...the same studio i was shooting the movie at the next day...it felt awesome just to be able to have the thought..."oh i am shooting a movie there tomorrow"...life is funny!

so the day of the shoot...my suit was huge and i had try on many before we got one that looked right...the scene went well and it was cool hanging with the actors...shi kapur was nice but kept his distance...it went kinda of quickly...normally the extras eat separately from the actors and directors so it was fun to be with them as an "actor". it is a weird feeling to have a dream (making films in bollywood) and then to find yourself living it...it felt like an out of body experience, which is cool cause i never really liked my body anyway...

after the shoot i went to look at another set of apartments and i found one! (i think)...it's small, has no kitchen (again, they are an amenity) but it has 24 hour water and it is well within my budget...so if it all works out i will be moving in within the next two weeks....i am terrified...

when i got back to my hotel i got a call from a fellow actor he was having a party at a local bar so i hopped back on the train and was off...at the sation i hooked up with a group of actors to get cabs while we were waiting i was hamming it up talking about the days shoot when suddenly i felt this WACK to my head, i reached up and realized someone had thrown an egg at me, it i had exploded on my head......and that my dear friends is what i fucking love about mumbai, this city of highs and lows...one minute you are star and the next you've got egg on your face.